Liar, Liar
by animanga-lover
Summary: I hate summaries... so basically Mello is in highschool trying to get by while Rod keeps annoying him. Then Linda brings in this random new kid dressed in stripes and orange goggles. It's a Matt x Mello fanfiction. rated M for language and future yaoi.
1. 1 Teenagers

1 Teenagers

**7:30 **

'_They're gonna clean up your looks  
With all the lies in the books  
To make a citizen out of you  
Because they sleep with a gun  
And keep an eye on you, son  
So they can watch all the things you do…__'_

The radio started blaring sending sound throughout my bedroom. I groaned rolling on my back looking at the clock. I groaned as I sat up and rubbed my eyes.

'…_Because the drugs never work  
They're gonna give you a smirk  
'Cause they got methods of keeping you clean  
They're gonna rip up your heads,  
Your aspirations to shreds  
Another cog in the murder machine…__'_

I ran my fingers through my soft blonde hair. I yawned as I listened to the song for a moment. I was trying to figure out why…

I jumped up when I remembered what day it was. I joined in with the chorus, "_They said all teenagers scare the living shit out of me  
They could care less as long as someone'll bleed  
So darken your clothes or strike a violent pose  
Maybe they'll leave you alone, but not me!"_

I pulled on some black boxers and quickly pulled on some dark, blue skinny jeans. I, then, grabbed a black long-sleeved shirt and pulled it over my head. I had to dress to draw the right crowd, right? I slipped my rosary under my shirt and started playing the air guitar.

It was the first day of school...

"Hey Mello," 'Mom' called from down the hall, "you better hurry up and get the hell out. And turn that shit you're listening to off!"

I rolled my eyes as I turned off my radio. "Love you too, Mom!" I stuffed my cell phone in my pocket. Then, I checked to make sure that I had my switchblade on me. Who knows? Maybe it'll be useful to me one day. I know when I'm low enough it's always helped me feel better.

I jumped out of my bed room window. I never bothered going out the front door because I never knew who was going to be there. Either way, this was much easier. My room was on the top floor of this crappy apartment. I knew it was the cheapest place in the building because of the torn up wall paper and everything, but then again it was on the top floor, meaning during the chances of a fire we'd be the last people to get out and have the best chance of dying first. Not that anyone would care.

Anyway, I jumped onto a tree branch. I had great balance. The tree only reached the third floor, the floor under mine. I worked my way down till my feet were firmly planted on the ground. I began to walk down the side walk to school.

I didn't take a bag with me. I didn't see the point of it. 'Mom' never bought me school supplies. Besides I had a photographic memory I remembered everything people said. Teachers took pity on me because of the case reports and hospital records they read on me. I'm not gonna go into all that.

So school. Hell on Earth. Jail to either set you on the path of justice only fuck you up later, or a place where you already realize you're totally fucked. Sure I wasn't popular, but everyone knew who I was, not that I'm bragging. I guess you could say I could've put a big walking target on my head.

Everyone already had their cliques. It's sophomore year for me. Two damn years left, not including this one. Although I could always drop out. It's not like 'Mom' can afford my college tuition, and even if she could she would waste her money on me.

I didn't have any friends. I mean, yeah I had people who I hung out with people and everything. I hated them.

I stood against a brick wall outside the cafeteria. I was seconds later till I saw familiar mop of white hair walk towards me. He had the same blank expression in his dark, gray eyes.

"Hello Mello," He said in monotone.

"Near," I spat out his name. I hated Near the most, but stuck with him since I was trying to beat him. Well, _academically_, but there are so many things I would love to do to Near that I'll never do.

"You didn't return my calls this summer. Was everything alright?"

Near had a tendency to care, but not really _care._ He had a crush on me according to the rumors I heard around school. However, I was not submissive. I wasn't going actually give in to Near even if I wanted to.

"Mello! Near!" I heard a female scream. I knew it was Linda. I could feel my eyes rolling when she hugged me tightly. "How was your summer?"

Linda also had a huge crush on both me and Near. I think that just shows how desperate she truly is. She was a short girl with her hair tied in pig tails. She had shiny, childlike brown eyes. Even though she was cute, in a weird sort of way, she was terribly loud and clingy. She nagged about everything. I don't get why she cares so much.

"It was fine," I replied. "My phone broke, and I haven't gotten around to buying a new one." I know. That was a lie. A pretty shitty one at that since my phone could ring at any moment.

"Oh that's terrible," Near said with false astonishment.

"Yeah, but I'll live."

Linda gasped as she turned quickly shouting, "Matt!"

A teen with red hair- not ginger kid red, copper red- jumped looking for whoever called his name. He almost dropped the pink DS in his hands. Pink? Freak… Sitting in the mop of red hair was a pair of orange tinted goggles. He wore a black and white striped shirt and dark striped jeans. He had on combat boots for Christ's sake! He was really tall! At least, taller than me. He was really skinny though. Not as skinny as me, but he did have a really nice figure and his—

What the fuck is wrong with me? You can't just start checking out some random guy you've never met. Let me get this out there. I'm gay. Yeah, another reason why my life's so screwed over. It's not just the reason that I'm not attracted to girls. Quite frankly, I think girls have little intelligence and usually when they have brains they're annoying as hell. I think Stephen King summarized a girl perfectly when he said 'a woman is just a life support system for a cunt.'

"Hey Linda," Matt said stuffing his DS in his back pocket.

"Matt, this is Near and Mello. This is Matt, you guys. He just moved in next door to me." I could tell Linda liked him because of the admiring looks she gave him. Yep, she was desperate.

"Are you supposed to be a guy?" Matt asked look directly at me. What the fuck?

I could hear some jocks laughing because they heard Matt's question. "Great job new kid. No one's ever worked up the courage to ask him that!" A blonde one laughed.

I shot him my middle finger, "Fuck you, Aiber!" I stormed off not caring about the looks I was getting. Now _that _was a first impression. I always find it funny how the first sentence people usually hear me say have the words "fuck" and "you" in them. I didn't really care I just had to get away from everyone.

I went to the library… It wasn't open. I love how we promote reading and yet somehow the fuckin' library was never open. Damn school board.

"Damn it!" I heard a kid mutter beside me making me lose concentration. He had clean auburn hair. He wore dress clothes (like a tie and a silk shirt and tan cotton pants).

I gave him another once over and automatically decided… I hated him. "Who the fuck wears a suit to a public school?"

He looked at me scanning over every inch of my body until he knew for a fact that I had just said "fuck" to him. What can I say? It's my favorite word along with all the others. I just used this word the most.

He smiled confidently, "Me." He extended a hand to me, "Raito Yagami." It's pronounced Light in English. Weird name...

I stared at his hand not willing to make contact. "Mello," I muttered looking back into his auburn eyes.

He arched an eyebrow then challenged, "Who the fuck names their kid Mello?"

Oh yes, he was going to be fun. Not what I judged him. I was always willing to accept a challenge. "Me, since I didn't want to walk around with people calling me Mihael Keehl for the rest of my life."

"German?" Light acknowledged. I had to give him credit. Guy was smarter than he looked. I nodded. "What brings you to Japan?"

I smiled, "Dad left me with my mom. Just chillin' till he comes for me."

"I get that my dad's never home."

Mr. Perfect wasn't turning out perfect. This was great. "Really, why?"

"He's chief of police. He's always working."

"I see…" Wow some tough life he has… Sarcasm.

"Do you have any siblings?"

"None that I know about," I laughed. "You?"

"Yeah, a little sister. She can be so annoying."

"I was the only kid my mom said she would ever have. I guess she's stayed true to her word."

"You're not very close with your mom are you?" Light asked.

"How could you guess," I said sarcastically. "Nah, I'm not very close with anybody."

"You seem to be getting pretty close to me," Was he smirking? Okay... so that means something right? What the hell is up with guy?

"Umm... T-that's because you're not like the other idiots at this school." He did seem different… Damn bastard is making me blush! Say something you idiot! Don't give the satisfaction of seeing you blush!

"Hey Mello, what grade are you in?" Why's he walking towards me? H-he doesn't have to get that close, does he? He's stroking my cheek! God that feels good!

No! You just met the guy and now you're going to get swept away in your emotions? No, no, no, no, no, no, no! Just harden yourself. Make it seem like it doesn't bother you. Yeah, be cool...

"Tenth," I muttered with my back against the wall. I know my looks kill. I was seductive enough to turn a straight guy gay just so he could get his hands on me. I will never be dominated...

Light smiled gripping my chin, "I'm supposed to be in a eleventh but I skipped a grade." So? What did I care? He's hot I'll give him that. But kind of arrogant...

''_itsuwari' 'osore' 'kyoshoku' 'urei' samazama na negatibu ni…"_

Saved by my phone! YES! The truth was I did break my phone, but bought a new one a week later. I didn't have to let Near know that though.

I opened my phone without a moment's hesitation. Light pulled himself back letting me have my space. Smart guy…

"Is this the insane piece of shit named Mello?" A familiar voice asked.

"If I say yes will you start going by the fucking bastard named Rod?"

He chuckled slightly, "Hey what's up, Mello? We haven't spoken for a while."

"That's cause you never call me!" I said it in the most girly way possible making Light look antsy. He mouthed the words, "I'm leaving," and was gone in no time.

"What was that all about?"

"Sorry," I muttered placing one of my feet against the wall as my back rested against it softly. "I was getting rid of some unwanted company."

"Really," I knew Rod didn't care, but the fake sympathy gave me false comfort. "Anyway, where are you?"

"School. Why?"

"I wanted you to make a delivery to some friends of mine. If you're in you get some coke for yourself…" Bribery, sweet, unadulterated bribery.

"Okay. I've got nothin' better to do anyway."

"Go to the park and inside that plastic tube where all those brats crawl in and out of. I stored your stash in it. I'll tell him to meet you outside the school gates."

"Like to know that we're not corrupting the minds of our youth... What if someone finds the stash before me?" I'm trying hard to keep my voice low. If someone heard this conversation I'd be in trouble, but it still was exciting. I finally made my way towards the exit.

"No one gets there before noon. Don't worry just deliver it to a guy that goes by Kyosuke Higuchi. I'll just tell him what you look like so he'll probably just walk up to you."

I rolled my eyes as I pushed open the door and walked outside. "Well it's nice to know my identities protected with you around." I don't know why I used so much sarcasm with Rod. I shrugged it off.

"Don't fuck this up."

"Right like we're not already screwed since we're doing this in broad day light. Fine I'll get going. Bye."

I put my cell phone in my pocket and started walking towards the gate.

"Mello!"

Linda was calling me back over to them. I took a deep breath and started towards them. "What is it?"

"Matt's sorry for what he said earlier! He didn't mean to make you angry."

I looked up at him. He was playing his game not looking up. Yeah, very apologetic. "Great, I gotta go."

Linda gripped onto my arm, "Why? Where are you going?"

"My boss called me. I gotta go to work."

"Hey Mello," A voice called me forcing me to turn around.

"Light?" He actually came back? This guy knew how to play this game. He was good.

"Yeah, I know this is sudden, but you want to go out Friday night?"

That _was _fast, but it did make since. I know a lot of guys, and girls, have tried to get something out of a night with me. They weren't able to walk the next day, but I never saw them again. I didn't want that. I wanted a relationship, but I knew that was never going to happen.

I crossed my arms over my chest, "Let me guess so you can take me out get me drunk or doped up so you can fuck me senseless afterwards."

Light's cheeks had a red hazed over his cheeks. Linda, Near, Matt and Light stared wide eyed at me.

I smirked at him, "Fine, but I have one rule." I walked up to Light inches from his lips, "I get to be on top." I smiled turning to walk away. I needed to get this job over with. I saw Light leave with a dazed smile on his face. Near and Linda were trying to look like it didn't bother them. Matt had a dumbfounded expression over his face. That look made me smirk. He looked so clueless and lost and cute. Okay, so he was cute doesn't mean I'm gonna be chasing after him like Linda.

Okay… I know that was a total whorish thing for me to do. I haven't slept with a guy in what seems like forever. And face it I'm not going to ever going to be in a relationship. Might as well get something out of these looks… even if it is a one night stand.

It wasn't long till I got to the park. I had to climb up the stairs of a playpen then walk across some bridge. There were a few kids on the swings, but they didn't harm my work. I was eyed by their suspicious parents.

I bent down on all fours looking into a bright, blue tube. About five packets with white powder in them sat in the middle of the tube. It makes me wonder what would've happened if some little kids found this before me. I crawled in the tube stuffing the packets in my pockets when my eyes spotted something underneath them. There were two rectangular bars that were wrapped in aluminum foil. I smiled stuffing one in my back pocket and held the other in my teeth as I crawled out of the tube.

I stood up unwrapping the bar and licking the chocolate underneath the foil. Nothing tasted better than the creamy, sweet candy. Maybe that's my German roots talking? I shrugged off the thought as I snapped off a piece with my teeth. A few of the kid's heads snapped up at the sound. They had timid expressions on their faces their parents glared at me.

I slid down a slide and started back to school. It wasn't long till a tall man with spiky, brown hair marched over to me. His hair reminded me of a not as spiky version of Axel's hair from Kingdom Hearts. It almost made me laugh, but I kept a straight face. I remained still looking into his cold, blue eyes.

"Are you Higuchi?"

He smiled slyly, "You're Mello? Pretty cute for a boy. You got what I've been looking for?"

I handed him four bags of the crushed cocaine. I licked my chocolate as he quickly took the packets from my hands. He stuffed them in the pockets of his navy blue suit.

I held out my left hand, which wasn't holing my chocolate, "So hand over my money."

He chuckled, "I paid Rod before I got here."

Bastard! "So you're gonna steal from me? I don't think so." I pulled out my switchblade.

"Looks like princess has some mouth. Don't worry I can get rid of that."

Princess? What the hell did I look like? I hated it when people thought they could get away with talking to me disrespectfully. I pulled my switchblade to his throat, "Don't underestimate me." I held my chocolate in my mouth as I reached in his pocket and grabbed his wallet. I somehow managed to get the money out with one hand. I only got a few hundreds. He had at least five thousand dollars so I'm guessing that was pocket change. I put his wallet back in his pocket. "I thank you for your business," I smiled making the chocolate crack as I took a bite. I turned and walked away putting the switchblade back in my pocket.

I felt hands grip me from behind and push me against the metal fence that was enclosed around the school. We really were stupid to be doing this in broad daylight, but this was the back of the school and no one was here.

"I think I should get something in return for my hospitality."

"Hospitality? You call this hospitality?" His grip tightened. I couldn't help but squirm. I had to get out somehow.

"Squirm all you want that'll just make this hurt a lot more than it needs to." His hands came down to my pants. I felt the urge to scream but wouldn't give him the satisfaction.

He began to stroke me through my pants. His fat hands felt weird around my cock. It wasn't getting hard and I knew from his movements it wasn't going to any time soon...

I felt all the weight off of me in a brief second. Higuchi hit the ground hard. Matt had kicked him in the ribs. I heard a small gasp leave the man.

"Get the fuck outta here!" Matt yelled at him.

Higuchi glared at Matt. He stood up and brushed off his suit before leaving. I stared in shock at Matt. He kept his eyes on Higuchi as he watched him leave. Matt's eyes were secured in his orange goggles. Once was out of sight he turned back to me. "I'm sorry Mello. I should've gotten here sooner. Are you okay?"

"I'm fine… what are you doing here?"

"Skippin' Phys. Ed. We're in most of the same classes this semester. I never would've guessed you were that smart."

I tried not to scowl at the guy who just saved my ass, but it was pretty hard. "Umm… thanks for your help Matt."

Matt pulled his goggles on top of his head. It was then that I realized he had really cute eyes. They were emerald green with pink just around the iris and little flecks of yellow were in the emerald green. "No problem. I hope we can say this is a truce from this morning." Look away, Mello, just look away.

"I'm not mad about what happened this morning. It's not the first time I've heard it." So you can just leave like a good little freak boy.

"Why were you even hangin' around with that guy anyway?"

Great he wasn't gonna leave me alone. "Umm… would you excuse me for a few minutes? I've gotta make a call to my boss."

"Sure, I don't mind. Take your time," Matt said leaning against the fence. I guess he doesn't understand when a person is trying to tell him to get lost. Oh well. I saw my chocolate on the ground next to his feet. Damn it! That bastard made me drop it.

I pulled out the second chocolate bar and quickly unwrapped it. I snapped off the corner making the familiar cracking noise. It made Matt jump. My lips curled into a smile as I dialed Rod's number.

After a few rings I heard a drowsy "Hello" from the phone.

"What the hell Rod?"

"Mello? You done already? How'd it go?"

"How do you think it went? I'm pissed because that guy wasn't gonna pay me."

"What? What happened?" I knew Rod was listening now. He hated it when people tried to cheat him out of his merchandise.

"I got there, did what I was supposed to do and he tries to tell me that he already paid you. I knew that was bull shit so I pulled out my switchblade and go about five hundred bucks off of him maybe more I haven't counted it all up yet. Then the fucker goes up and tries to rape me!"

"Aw man, I'm sorry. He do anything?"

"Nah, I got away before he could." I couldn't tell him about Matt.

"Don't worry I'll take care of him. Thanks for your work. You can keep the money you got off of him."

I'd never known Rod to be this generous. Then again, he was homophobic. Maybe he thought Higuchi caused some damage and was trying to be nice? "Thanks Rod. I'll catch ya later." I hung up and looked back at Matt.

"So that guy worked for your boss?" He eyed me curiously.

"Yeah. It's not some prostitution gig like you're thinkin'. It was just delivery. I shouldn't have to worry about him anymore."

Matt nodded slowly, "So you like chocolate?"

"I love it…" It was an addiction I had. It wasn't horrible or life threatening, however in my case it probably was. "And you like pink?" I cocked an eyebrow.

Matt blushed slightly, "The store in my neighborhood only had pink at the time when I bought one and the next shipment would be four months away. I just bought a pink one because I hate waiting."

"I see… Didn't you just recently move here? Where are you from?"

"Umm… Dijon, Paris. I didn't really like it there. My mom got a job offer in Japan, so we left."

"Cool. I haven't met another European person besides Near."

Matt gave me a look of disgust, "That British kid with white hair? He's weird."

That made me laugh, maybe this guy wasn't so bad after all. "Yeah, I used to live in Germany. We moved around a lot. I lived in Belgium till my parents got divorced."

"Then I can see where the chocolate comes from." He smiled sheepishly. I smiled back. He was really easy to talk to. It feels like I've talked to him before. "Umm… Mello? I know this is going to sound weird, but could you call off your date with Light?"

"Why?"

"Umm… I just don't think you shout date a guy just to have sex with him."

Why the hell is he blushing? No, screw that! Why the hell is he telling me this? I must admit he did look pretty cute. "Fine I'll cancel our date the next time I see him."

Matt's eyes seemed to sparkle. Freak.

"So, you speak German…" It was a rhetorical question that just made me arch my eyebrows. "I've always wanted to visit Germany. It's always looked so bright and… green."

"Well there is a lot of land. They don't have a lot of grass in Paris?"

"Only in certain places. I wouldn't know. I hate the outdoors."

I gave him a confused look. "You just said you like the greenery in Germany and now you're saying you hate the outdoors?"

"Going somewhere and looking at TV and photographed images are two totally different things. Germany looks nice, yes. I have not commented on the greenery at all, just some photos I've seen of Germany."

"You really are a freak. Do you like Japan, or are you gonna be particular when I say that?"

Matt's eyes widened, "I love Japan! You know basically all the worlds video game technology comes from Japan? Nintendo has come up with some of the greatest gaming systems ever, and I'm living in the city that manufactures them!" I thought he was gonna explode from happiness, or just excitement.

"So you like video games?"

"I love them!" Matt's eyes were so big. He looked so cute. His eyes were sparkling brightly at the talk of the things he liked most. He blushed slightly, "Sorry. My parents aren't around much and I usually only play video games when I'm home."

"It's fine. You like it, so it shouldn't matter what other people think about you."

His blush deepened, "Umm… yeah. Thanks Mello. I'll see you around." He got off the fence and started walking around the school until he disappeared. I thought my heart would never stop pounding.

**TBC**

**Did you like it? first chapter... I do not own Death Note! or any songs used in this story.**

**Song used:**

**Teenagers by My Chemical Romance**

**I don't really like the band but I was listening to this song and got an idea for this story. I hope you enjoyed! I'll try to have the next chapter up soon!**


	2. 2 Lithium

2 Lithium

I went to school high today. It's the start of a new week. I hate Mondays.

I got to school earlier than usual. Matt and I would hang out before anyone else got there.

"What's up with you?" He asked noticing my tired eyes. I hoped they weren't bloodshot, but knowing my luck. They probably were.

"It's nothing," I said laying my head against the brick walls behind the school. This is where people usually skipped classes. We'd hang out there all the time.

I had no idea what I was saying. I didn't really care. I just wanted to leave faster than expected.

* * *

**Hey Mello!** I got the text from Matt when we were in Chemistry. We sat across the room from each other.

We exchanged phone numbers quickly after meeting each other. He demanded it because we we're friends. I doubt you can make friends _that _easily.

_**Hey**_, I replied sleepily. The cocaine wore off sooner than expected. We usually communicated like this in classes.

**Are you high?** That's one way to get answers.

_**Now how'd you guess that Matt?**_ It seems like he picked up my sarcasm.

He looked back at me with a worried expression on his face. **Sorry. I'm just worried about you. I hardly know anything about you, so I'm curious.**

That made me smile. _**No, I'm fine. Thanks for it though.**_

**Hey Mello, your parents don't beat you do they?**

_**What makes you say that?**_

**You've got a bruise on your cheek.**

Really? I hadn't even noticed that. 'Mom's' new boyfriend snapped last night. I was in the wrong place at the wrong time. It didn't hurt too bad though.

_**I got into a fight with this kid on my street.**_

**You're OK, right?**

_**Matt can we please not talk about this?**_

* * *

Light started dating Near's cousin, L. That was the fastest break up I ever dealt with. He was one of my closest friends before I met Matt. L, I mean. Not Light. Fuck Light. I just met him like… two days? Three? Who cares? Anyway… during lunch we'd sometimes sit with them, but usually kept to ourselves. L was the only one who knew about me. I loved and hated him for that.

L studied my face giving me one of his unnoticeable sympathetic looks. His eyes were probing me from all different directions.

"Mello, I'd like to talk to you," L said biting his thumb slightly.

We stood up from our seats and walked out of the cafeteria. Matt and Light followed us with their eyes.

"Another boyfriend?" He asked as we stood against the back of the cafeteria away from everyone else. We sat at a table where no one ever sat in. I have no idea why, though.

"Yeah," I muttered not meeting his eyes.

L gripped my chin and turned my head so he could get a better look at my cheek. "It's not as bad as what others have done. Mello, you have to get away from that woman."

"Not until my dad comes back. I'm not leaving. I'm fine I can handle it."

L dropped his hand on the table then grabbed my wrist. He brought up the sleeve of my shirt revealing the freshly scarred skin. "And this is your way of handling it?"

I pulled back my hand. "Where am I going to go L? I've got no family. That lady's all I got."

"You can come stay with me."

"Yeah right. Thanks for the offer, but you've got a new boyfriend and I think that's enough for Watari to handle." Watari was L's father. Well, adoptive father, but a father nonetheless.

L thought for a minute. "What about Matt?"

"What about him?" I looked at Matt who was constantly looking at me trying not to be noticeable.

"What going on between you two?"

"We're just friends. I'm not about to get into a relationship that fast."

"Oh, so you do have feelings for him?" Damn him. He's able to read me so well. "I think he cares about you. He keeps looking at you."

"Yeah… Don't worry. We're just friends. Don't tell Matt… about the cutting."

"Do I ever tell anyone?"

I smiled at him. "I'm going to get to class a little early. Can you tell Matt that for me?"

"Of course, Mello."

* * *

"What were you and L talking about?" Matt asked me as we started to walk home.

"Why does it matter?" I asked avoiding the question.

"Oh, uh, no reason. I was just curious." He looked down at his feet. Why was he getting so depressed about something like this?

"It was nothing. He was just asking me about what was going on at home and everything."

"He knows your family?"

"He's met them a few times. He knows more about me than anyone. I trust him."

I looked back at Matt who was staring at me in shock and anger. "Oh," He muttered to himself.

"What?"

Matt sighed, "It's nothing."

"I'll see you tomorrow," I said as we reached his house.

"Yeah, see you," He waved unhappily.

"Hey Matt," Linda called from her doorstep. I left as quickly as possible.

* * *

Ah! Home sweet hell hole.

I collapsed in my bed without a second thought. I heard pounding on my door. I jumped up and opened it.

Ah, who else could it be? 'Mom' had tears overflowing in her bloodshot eyes. She'd gotten dumped… again. Or she was drunk. Or even better… both…

"Mello, I'm so sorry." Yep she's both, "I'm so sorry for making you go through that." 'Mom' collapsed in my arms as we sat on my bed. "I promise I'll never let another one of my boyfriends hit you like that!"

That's what you said after you dated that Roy guy. He was the worst out of all of them. He's the one who always came back. I knew she was lying, but I only held her as she cried in my arms. This was the only time I could talk to her. Or at least, talk to her without yelling or cussing each other out.

"I'm not letting that bastard back into this house ever again! Mello I'm sorry. You know I love you, baby." I knew this was also a lie, but I continued to stroke her black hair and hold her.

I opened my mouth as if to speak, but was cut off by the phone. She sat up wiping her brown eyes. "I have to get that."

I watched from my doorway. She sniffled a small, "Hello" into the receiver. Her eyes lit up, "Oh, hi Roy."

No.

"No I'm not doing anything right now."

Don't.

"Sure, I'll be there right away."

Leave…

I sighed as 'Mom' quickly ran around getting dressed. She checked to see if she had everything with her. She looked back and saw me staring at her. "What are you lookin' at, fuck face?"

Tears shook violently in my eyes as I slammed the door. I sank to my knees letting the tears flow from my eyes. I had that over powering empty feeling wash over me.

I pulled out my switch blade. I held up my left arm swiftly sliding the blade over my skin. I watched as my scarlet blood started escaping the margins of the freshly cut line. It stung and soon brought a cold numbing feeling over me. I felt my nerves vibrating as I became used to the sick, pleasurable pain. I felt the tears still running down my cheeks as my heart started pounding.

It was actually kind of calming, in a twisted sort of way. When I felt my body reacting to my switchblade's marks I felt _alive._ It was a reassurance. It didn't matter to me though because I knew no one cared if I cut myself.

Near and Linda would be sympathetic but only because they wanted to get into my pants. L would tell me to stop and nag me about it like always, but he wouldn't do anything. Matt would… What would Matt do? I don't really know his overall opinion of me yet.

I did have an urge to reach out and touch him, in more ways than one, but I think that's just hormones. He seems pretty comfortable around me, but a little overprotective and clingy.

I don't have time to think about this right now! I jumped up and ran into the kitchen wrapping my arm in a towel.

My phone started vibrating. It was Rod.

"I have something I need you to do for me…"

* * *

I jumped back into my room through the window. Rod got me an apology present. He had me take out this guy who stole some drugs from him. Once I finished the job, there was something waiting for me.

It was a motorcycle. It was cherry red and amazing! Everything was there. The keys, license, everything. It seemed like a dream. I had no idea what year it was. It looked pretty new and it was mine. I drove it home tonight. I'd learned riding lessons from Kal. Us gang members gotta stick together. I felt so free for a moment.

I pretty much forgot about 'Mom.' I was finally reminded of everything when I got home. I guess I'll have to hide these scars at school.

I made it up to my window trying to keep quiet. I have no idea what time it is. I do know it's pretty dark. My face fell when I entered my room. It smelled like alcohol. I wrinkled my nose until I realize someone's lying on my bed.

I could see his head propped up with the help of his arm. His dark brown hair falling messily in his face. He grinned devilishly at me. I noticed the dark bags under his blue eyes. This was _not _good. Roy never came into my room. None of mom's boyfriends did.

"Roy," I spat.

"Where you been all this time, shit head?"

"Nowhere."

"What have I told you about lying, you worthless piece of shit?"

"That it makes God sad just like your language," I teased.

Suddenly I was pinned down against my bed. Roy scowled at me, "I can see that my original methods of discipline have been unsuccessful." Roy beats me up a lot when he thinks I'm being disrespectful.

He looked even more sinister hovering over me like that. What's he smirking about? I so wanted to punch him right now, but his arms are pinning my wrists and... Oh shit!

**TBC**

**Song used: Lithium By Evaneascence**

**lots of page breaks and few words lolz.**

**Did you like it? ended it at a cliff hanger lol.**

**C'mon pplz... you know u wanna review! C'mon I resolved to wrist slitting! not literally...**

**I'm not gonna say I accept anonymous reviews (cuz i do ;)) and I hope u enjoyed it!**


	3. 3 Evil Angel

3 Evil Angel

What just happened? I can't move. I'm convulsing like crazy and shivering. Blood. That's clouding my mind. Blood and cum. I'm scared. I never get scared.

I want him dead. I want him to scream to the top of his lungs in pure agony and died right now. I want him to burn in the deepest, darkest depths of Hell and I want to watch him as he burns. I want to be there making the flames get higher, making the temperature rise. God may have mercy but I sure as hell didn't.

Claire's yelling. I don't even want to call her "Mom". She wasn't a mother. My _real _mom was dead. I was never going to see her again.

Claire kicked Roy out. Good, may he never come back! Of course, he'll come back. He always comes back…

She's yelling at me now. I can't hear her. I want to die. She digs her finger nails into my neck. I can't feel them. I'm numb all over. She's pulling me up off the bed. I can't walk. My legs fall out from under me. She's dragging me. She's crying as she throws me out of the appartment.

I'm shivering as I huddle by the door. I'm curled up in a ball hugging my knees to my chest. I want to die. I want to die. I want to die.

* * *

How long have I been asleep? Where am I, anyway? I look around for a moment. I'm in my room. Claire must've drug me back inside while I was sleeping.

I sit up…. Or try to. It hurts everywhere. My joints are so stiff. I can't move. My throats so dry. My ass is stinging. I feel like I've been ripped in half. I take a deep breath and let my thoughts trail off.

"Hey baby." I look up and see Claire standing in my door way. "You okay?"

I can't speak. I only stare at her with big timid eyes.

"I'm sorry. I'll never let Roy do that to you again. I had no idea that—" Then her voice broke and she started crying.

I couldn't help but feel bad for her. I couldn't hate her. It wasn't her fault… Then again, it was partially. She did invite Roy over and— Mello you can't hate her! She loves you.

I felt tears prickle my eyes. Claire looked like a sad angel. She cried over me. Her tears are empty, though. Lies.

* * *

I finally got out of bed. I turned the dials on the bath and just soaked in the scalding water. It feels so good despite the pain.

I reached over after drying my hands to the radio that I sat on a chair before I got in here. I turned the dials till I got to a song I liked.

'_No, don't  
Leave me to die here.  
Help me survive here, Alone. Don't remember, remember.'_

My heart felt heavy. I want to die but it's weird. I feel that if I die I'll be leaving someone behind. Who could it be?

I sink under the water some only to wet the ends of my hair.

'_Put me to sleep evil angel.  
Open your wings evil angel.  
Fly over me evil angel.  
Why can't I breathe evil angel?'_

That's right. That's what Claire is. An evil angel. She tells me lies and uses fake emotion to console me. Is that what's keeping me here? That fake love?

I sigh sinking deeper and deeper into the water.

* * *

I've got a bruise on my right shoulder. My lips a swollen. I've got a black eye and the fading bruise on my cheek. I've got cuts up and down my chest and back and the four uneven scratches going down my neck.

My blue eyes are really pale. They look like hard stone. I hate my eyes. They remind me of my father…

I'm in school the next day. I got about a hundred text messages from Matt, which I left unopened. I didn't feel like talking to him right now.

I got to school late. I was trying my best not to hobble. I felt like shit. I hadn't slept two nights in a row. Last night I was in so much pain I just couldn't and the night before I was… Roy.

I settle in my seat in Chemistry before the bell rang. I got strange looks from everyone including the teacher. The worst look of all was from Matt. He had a blank horror expression that filled his emerald eyes.

I wrote small notes as the teacher spoke. I hugged myself in the warm long sleeves. There still was a draft in the room. I was craving chocolate. I wanted it bad.

I soon felt warmth beside me. I looked over and saw Matt sitting beside me. "What the hell?" I yelled before falling out of my seat. That earned me a scowl from the teacher, but she went back to her work.

"Weren't you listening? We have group work."

"Oh," I said getting back into my seat, "I guess I must have spaced out during the lecture."

Matt laughed, "Yeah, I can't tell you how many times I spaced out." He rubbed the back of his head and gave me a sheepish look, "But yeah, you kind of worried me yesterday."

"Sorry," I said starting on the work.

"Hey Mello?"

I wonder what he's going to ask this time? That was my sarcasm peeking through again. I know what he's going to ask me. "Yes Matt?"

"Do you know the answer to number four? I'm kind of stuck on it."

What the hell? He's not even going to ask me about why I wasn't here? I wasn't going to tell him, but still!

"What is it?" He asked.

"You're not even going to ask?"

"I know you're not going to tell me."

"And how do you know that?"

"Because Mello hardly tell anyone anything," He sighed and looked back at his work.

I don't know why, but my heart skipped a beat when he said that. I felt my face blush. Why did that make me so happy? Is it because he's telling me what he's figured out about me? That he's paying attention?

"Here," I said handing him my work when I was done. He smiled at me brightly as he took it.

* * *

"Mihael," L glared at me.

"I'm fine," I lied as I sat at the lunch table. I unwrapped the chocolate I bought from the vending machines and bit into it.

"I can hardly believe you when you have bruises on your face."

"I don't know, L," A pair of foreign arms touched my shoulder. I froze when I saw Aiber, "I kind of like the new face, pretty boy." Some of his friends laughed behind him.

"Don't fuckin' touch him, Aiber," Matt said coming out of nowhere.

"Fine I'll leave that to you, freak." He bumped Matt's shoulder as he left. Matt scowled letting his bangs fall over his eyes as he slammed his tray on the table and sitting next to me.

"I'll take you out of there by force if I have to, Mello." L said making no attempt to stop this conversation.

"It's fine. Roy just came by the other night, no big deal."

L had an unreadable expression on his face. Matt was staring curiously between the both of us.

Light hugged L from behind kissing his cheek as he did so. L patted his head and kissed him back when Light set down a piece of cake in front of him.

Light sat down beside him. "Hey nice face," He laughed.

"Hey nice watch mind if I shove it up your ass?" I say sipping my chocolate milk.

"Sorry," Light flinched. "What happened?"

"Nothing…"

"Ha, doesn't look like nothing," Matt muttered under his breath.

That kind of hurt. "What? You suddenly care. You acted like you didn't give a fuck in class."

"What the hell? I knew you wouldn't tell me, but that doesn't mean I don't care!"

Matt was trembling. I couldn't help but be surprised. L and Light were too.

"Sorry for caring," Matt said before getting up and leaving.

I couldn't help but follow him. It was my fault he was upset. "Matt! Matt wait!" Next thing I knew I was_ chasing_ him. He had started running when he got out of the cafeteria.

I had no idea how far I chased him. We weren't at school anymore. I could care less if I was hobbling. Matt stopped when I finally tackled him. It hurt like hell, but it was worth it.

"Get off of me!" He yelled when I pinned his shoulders down. He tried to turn away and swat at me.

"Fuckin' look at me!" I yelled gripping his chin. He had tears welled in his eyes. "Matt... w-why're you..."

He shook his head, "Please get off me."

I sighed helping him up. I felt eyes flicker on us from all directions. Now people watch to pay attention. "Hey, I'm sorry."

He shook his head, "It's fine. I'm leaving."

"Wait!" I grabbed his arm as he started to turn. Why am I acting like this? I felt tears starting to sting in my eyes. Why am I getting like this?

"Mello, why are you crying?" Matt lowered himself so he was looking dead into my eyes.

"I-I'm not," I tried to hold back my tears. Why am I feeling so lonely? Why do I feel like if he leaves something bad will happen?

Next thing I know I'm in Matt's arms. "I'm sorry Mello. Why are you getting so upset?"

It feels good to be in his arms. I feel safe. "Thank you Matt." I pulled away from his arms wiping my eyes. "W-well I guess I should be leaving."

"Yeah," he said rubbing my head, "be careful."

"Don't tell me what to do," I smirked.

"You know you can tell me anything…"

I froze. It's not easy for me to talk about. My family is… well, broken. His words gave me chills. "O-okay," I managed to say before I ran off. I left him standing there staring at me. I felt terrible.

**TBC **

**this took longer than expected... probably b/c I'm almost at chapter 15 and I'm finishing up Sleeping Death but I hope you like thank you very much for the reviews/ story alerts/ favorites**

**I'll try to upload chapter 4 soon especially since I'm done with it XD**

**Song used: Evil Angel by Breaking Benjamin**

**which I don't own...**

**lolz thank you again bye!**


	4. 4 Ready for Love

4 Ready for Love

Matt acted as if nothing happened. I hate how he can do that so easily. He lacks social skills, so I guess that's why. I hate him for that.

Wait what is that he has with him? I saw him open a small rectangular box. I smirked looking at the label. Pocky. I tackled him when I found out it was chocolate. Hehe yes I stole it as well.

"Hey, I was gonna share," He yelled trying to wiggle out from under me.

"Mello never shares," I muttered grabbing the box. I saw Matt looking a little disappointed when I ate the first stick.

"Fine we'll compromise," I said sucking every last bit of chocolate off of the stick and shoving the bare cookie in his face. "Here," I smirked. There's no way he's gonna—

He took the stick between his teeth. "Thanks," He smiled eating away at the pocky. He. fucking. ate. it.

The rest of the day went by uneventful. I mean it's high school. Linda had some drama with one of her friends. I didn't care. L and Light were making out at lunch. They always did that. Near met some knew friends who he hangs out with. Thank God. Matt… wasn't speaking much today.

"Why so silent, Matt?" I asked sitting on the park bench. We'd decided to go after school so we could hang out.

Matt looked nervously at me then up at the sky. He was silent.

"What is it Matt?" I asked leaning back into the bench and closing my eyes.

Matt took a deep breath, "M-my parents wanna meet you."

"What?" My eyes snapped open.

He leaned his head on the back of the bench staring at the sky. "They said they wanna meet you."

"O-okay?" That's weird. At least his parents care enough to want to know about their son… But, why did I get the feeling that there was more to it than that?

"So… want to come have dinner at my place?"

My phone vibrated. I got a text from Rod. "Sorry one sec…" I opened my phone. **You busy?**

You can't exactly say no to your gang leader. _**Nah. What's up?**_

**I got a job for you. Come to my place.**

This was big. Rod never tells anyone to come over if it's not important. "Umm… Sorry that was my boss. I gotta go, but how about I come over tomorrow?" It was Friday after all.

"Okay, I'll tell them." Matt looked so depressed after that. Ah fuck! Why do I feel like the bad guy now?"

Without thinking I wrapped my arms around Matt's shoulders. "Sorry my boss is really persistent."

Matt smiled slightly, "It's fine just… don't get hurt, okay Mello?"

I smirked hovering over him so I could look into his eyes. I knew it would get his attention, but now that I think about it, it's kind of awkward. I jumped up so that my knees were on both sides of his legs fencing him in. I reached my arms to grab hold of the bench. I was seriously in his lap. It wasn't long till I realized I was straddling Matt's hips.

Matt's eyes were wide. I thought his goggles would fly off because of their size. His face was bright red. It was worth it to see him like that, but then it felt awkward. I'm blushing mad because I'm fucking gay and this is my best friend! Okay all I have to remember is not to apply pressure. Hmmm…. I bet Matt's reaction would be so cute. I actually might wanna try—No! Mello you're in a fucking park and this is your fucking best friend!

"I'm not making any promises," I smirk trying to blow off my awkwardness (and trying to forget the fact that I just thought about Matt moaning my name. I really hope he can't tell how hard I'm getting. Stupid hormones…)

His face returned to normal as he leaned his head back. He mumbled something under his breath. What did he say?

"Hey I'm just kidding," I smiled jumping off the bench. "I'm sure I'll be fine."

Matt nodded, "Just get going okay?"

I nodded and started walking. I had to walk back home to get my motorcycle. I'm not taking it to school with me yet because I'm not legally able to drive one yet. I just use it for business runs.

* * *

It turns out there wasn't anything important. Everyone was just hanging out. The whole time I was think, '_I ditched Matt to hang out with these douche bags?'_ Fucking retards trying to take me away from my Mattie…

Whoa… did I just think Mattie? Um… that's cute for him but… OH MY FUCKING GOD! If I get in too deep then there's gonna be some problems. Ah shit and I'm going to see his parents tomorrow. Yeah… Parents… yay…

Anyway, I don't have a problem with the gang. I'd just really prefer to be with Matt. He is my friend after all. Really my only friend, or the only one who actually understands me. I can be myself around him.

Stupid homophobes! If they found out I was gay they'd kill me.

But anyway, I'm home! 'Mom's' not here (YES!)… must be with a new boyfriend. Great…

Guess I can wash my clothes since she's gone. 'Mom' doesn't let me use any of the house hold appliances (hmmm… maybe if I actually bought them?); however, if I use them when she's out she can't tell either way.

So I washed and dried my clothes. Then looked for something to eat. Why the hell do we not have any decent food in here? Maybe if 'Mom' got a decent job…

I got some poptarts out of the pantry (chocolate flavor= fuck yeah!). Okay maybe not the best thing ever… I grabbed a can of Monster out of the fridge. Again… Maybe not the best thing in the world… Then I headed back to my room and ate in silence.

Pretty productive day…

**TBC**

**hehe really short chapter...**

**This is a chapter that probably was just randomly there besides the fact that Mello gets 2 meet Matt's parents O.O kinda scary if u thing about it.**

**I'll try and have chapter 5 up 2day as well but I'm not making promises since my sis might be bringing my little prince of demons over.**

**AKA my nephew**

**AKA babysitting...**

**songs used: Ready for Love by Cascada**

**in someway that can relate to Mello... like he doesnt want to start a realtionship b/c of what he's had 2 go through and the fact that Matt's his best friend. But time will tell :)...**

**I dont own the songs I just like them**

**I hope you enjoyed and Thank you thank you thank you for the reviews ;)**


	5. 5 Le Disko

5 Le Disko

School went by. It was pretty uneventful. Near actually spoke to me, which I didn't answer. That's pretty much it. Maybe I should be nicer to Near… I mean he's just trying to be a friend to me and – and what the fuck am I talking about? It's Near… Urgh!

Okay… so now I'm walking home to put away my stuff and get ready for Matt's. I crawled through my window and there's some random guy lying in my bed. He was around my age with brown hair and eyes.

"Who the hell are you?" I shout coming into my room. He looked timidly at me. I rolled my eyes when I heard the pounding on the walls. "Never mind…" Stupid whore…

I pulled out my phone and called Matt. "Hello?"

"Hey Matt."

"Mello? What is it? Don't tell me you have to bail out on me again!"

I laughed at his frantic voice. "No, I was just asking if I could spend the weekend at your place?"

"Oh, yeah sure!" His voice was excited. Hehe dramatic change in attitude…

"OK I'll be there soon."

I got some of my regular clothes which included leather, leather and, yes, more leather and shoved them into a bag I found in my closet. I pulled out some black leather pants and a vest to match.

I started taking off my shirt then remembered the guy in my bed. I turned to him, "You wanna watch?"

He shook his head and left my room. Didn't think so. I didn't really care I'd already started getting undressed.

So I got into my pants. I love my leather pants! I'd wear them to school, but they're not allowed. Damn school system… I don't wear underwear in my pants' since they're a nuisance. I could slip them on and off easily, unlike some people, who have to shake and wiggle around a lot.

I pulled on my combat boots. I know I made fun of Matt for his, but this was different. I don't know how or why but it is. That sounds hypocritical doesn't it? It completes the leather look!

I pulled on my vest letting my rosary fall above the leather because it would hurt like hell if it didn't. The leather hugs my skin so it would let the beads and cross dig into my skin. Been there, felt that.

My arms were exposed so I put on leather gloves that stopped at my wrists. I saw that the vest cut off a little below my belly button. I wonder if Matt's parents would disapprove?

I shrug it off pulling my bag over my shoulder. I combed out my hair with the brush on my desk. I decided to take it with me, so I shoved it in my bag. I put my helmet over my head and jumped out the window.

I got on my motorcycle turning the key and hitting the gas. I revved my engine before I sped off. Matt gave me his address and everything at school. I pretty much knew the area. He lived with all the rich snobs. It was kind of a letdown. I guess it can't be helped, I'm happy for him.

I hate how nervous I am. Is it because this is the first time I've been to one of my friend's house? I mean, Matt was important.

I can't keep thinking about him as a gay lover or something! He's a friend. F-R-I-E-N-D. Wait, aren't there those friend who have no boundaries? You can do whatever you want with them and still be friends.

Eww… No! I'm not going to take advantage of him like that! That's terrible. You're either in a relationship, or not.

I got to his house sooner than expected. He lived in the suburbs. Every house was identical; panted white walls, a matching slanted roof, yellow outlined windows and a white picket fence. There was also a porch with a swing. It looked like a house for those types of movies where everyone was one big happy family. I felt out of place.

I got off my motorcycle- it's blasphemy to call her a bike! - and took off my helmet. I shook out my hair so I wouldn't have helmet hair. I took pride in my hair. It was one of the only _good_ things I had. It was the same color as my mom's.

I got eyed curiously by some of the neighbors. The ones that weren't outside peeked through their windows…assholes… I shrugged them away when Matt ran outside.

"Whoa Mello, when'd you get that?" Matt yelled running outside to meet me. He ran to my motorcycle. He ran a hand over the handles.

"It was a late birthday present from my uncle," I lied.

"Wow," His eyes sparkled into the paint. It's funny how his hair is almost the same color. He turned to face me now. "You look good in leather," He noted studying me. Wait did he just check me out? Get your mind out of the gutter, Mello!

"I hope your parents don't mind. I love leather."

"It's fine. They're not home right now, so come in." Wait so we were alone together. God must be trying to make me into some horny bastard…

I walked inside the house. It felt weird to be _Matt's_ house. The walls were white and so was the furniture and it had hardwood floors.

"My room's upstairs," Matt said going ahead of me. Up the stairs, down the hall, to the right, and the last door on the end.

_This_ was Matt's room. The walls were black with grey carpet. His bed was pushed in the back right corner with messy, white sheets. There was a giant TV on the opposite wall with hundreds of games, controllers and game systems underneath it.

He had a desk beside the door that looked untouched. My guess is it probably was. I dropped my bag by my feet. "This is more like it," I laughed turning to face Matt.

He laughed, "Yeah my style's a little bit different from my parents." He sat on his bed letting his goggles hang around his neck, "So what caused you to want to stay here?"

Damn. I was hoping we'd avoid this. "I just thought it'd be better if we spent more time together."

Matt blushed slightly, "Well uh… make yourself comfortable. I'll have to start making dinner soon anyway."

"You make dinner?"

"Oh yeah, my parents usually get home late so I'm always doing the house work."

That makes me feel a little sad. I wonder if he gets lonely? "I'll help you if you tell me what to do."

Matt raised an eyebrow.

"What?"

"You don't seem like the cooking type…"

He was right about that. "Well haven't really cooked before," I used to with my mom but that was a long time ago, "but I'd like to help."

He smiled and stood up, "Okay come with me."

Matt took me down stairs and into the kitchen. There, I was handed a giant knife. He put a red onion in front of me on the cutting board and asked me to start chopping it. I can't chop an onion correctly! A guy who can slit his wrists perfectly can't chop a fucking onion?

"…"

Oh shit.

I forgot about my wrists. My gloves were hardly enough to hide the scars. Damn it! This is fucking perfect! If he sees my wrists there's no telling I'll be screwed.

I continued to chop the onion looking nervously. Fight that feeling Mello. You will continue on as if nothing is happening. Yeah you don't really have these scars and even if you did it's not like you did them to yourself. Just say it was a cat or something. Yeah, a cat!

…That's the dumbest thing I've ever come up with. Seriously a cat? A. fucking. cat. Just breathe Mello. Breathe.

"Hey Matt … can I use your restroom?"

"Yeah. It's down the hall to the right," Matt smiled as he unwrapped a packet of meat.

"Uh… Thanks," I smiled stepping out of the kitchen. Good he didn't seem to notice me being worried.

I ran into the bathroom looking at my wrists. This was going to be hard. How am I supposed to cover this up? I looked around the bathroom finding nothing I could use to cover my wrists. I hit my clothes trying to feel for any bulges.

Aha! I unzipped a pocket in my vest. Awesome! I found a fuzzy, black wristband and pulled it over my wrist. Yeah it wasn't very creative, but it was all I had at the moment.

I walked back into the kitchen. Matt's staring at me curiously. Oh shit! He knows doesn't he? Damn it! He leaned forward arching one of his eyebrows. Shit shit shit shit shit! HE KNOWS!

"Did you wash your hands?" Matt asked me studying my gloved hand.

"Oh…" That's all he can say? "Well I didn't take off my gloves so—"

"Eww Mello! That's gross. You can't handle food like that!"

I sighed, "Well what do you want me to do?"

"First take off your gloves." I sighed angrily pulling off my gloves and stuffing them into the pockets on my vest. "Now wash your hands."

"What the fu—"

"Wash your hands, Mello."

I walked back to the bathroom. I squirted some soap on my hands and shoved my soapy hands under the cold running water after I turned on the faucet. I muttered angry curses under my breath. I turned off the water and dried my hands.

When I came back I held up my hands, "There all clean…"

Matt smiled turning on a stereo that was sitting on the counter by the fridge. How had I not noticed that? "Go back to cutting," Matt smiled handing me a knife.

I returned to my original station by the sink (it was directly behind Matt, who was by the fridge and the stove). I started bobbing my head up and down with the movements and swinging my hips. I recognized the beat of the song, but the singing hadn't started so I couldn't really tell…

'_Hello little boys, little toys  
We're the dreams you'll believe in  
Crawling up the walls  
Running down your face  
Razor sharp, razor clean  
Feel the weapon's sensation  
On your back...  
With loaded guns'_

Oh that's right! It's Shiny Toy Guns. I haven't heard this song in… forever actually. It has a really nice beat to it. I could feel myself bobbing my head and swinging my hips in time with the song.

'_Now hold on to me pretty baby  
If you want to fly  
I'm gonna melt the fever sugar  
Rolling back your eyes_

_We're gonna ride the race cars  
We're gonna dance on fire  
We're the girls Le Disko  
Supersonic overdrive'_

Seriously lovin' this song right now. I can't believe I don't have it on my iPod or something...

I felt Matt's chest against my back as he grabbed my wrists. "You need to learn how to cut," He breathed the sentence down my neck. I shivered slightly as he started chopping the onion. "Push the knife away from you, not towards you."

Yeah that's great. Kinda hard to think about it when you're BREATHING ON MY NECK! He started to move a little to the beat of the music too. Matt rubbing up against me from behind and me unable to do anything. This is torture…

Calm yourself Mello. It's not like he's… okay so he's grinding into you, but I'm sure it's unintentional. He's just into the music. Focus! Just cut like he showed you and stay still! Stay still!

I know this is gonna sound lame but I can't fight music. I can't help but move when I hear a song. It's just a reaction I have. Then it doesn't help that Matt's moving too…

'_So what's it gonna take?  
Silver shadow believer...  
Spock rocker with your dirty eyes_

_It's a chance, gonna move  
gonna fuck up your ego'—_you're damn right it is…_  
'silly boy, gonna make you cry'_

I pushed myself back slightly which made Matt let out a groan. Oh fuck! Matt blushed slightly backing up. "Um… Sorry."

I shook my head, "No. I-it's fine." I'm blushing too, but I'm trying to hide it.

Matt now was trying to cover up the incident. "Uh, here," Matt opened the refrigerator and he threw me a chocolate bar at me. I caught it easily. "We stocked up on chocolate since you like it so much."

Okay… I seriously wanna tackle him. Glomp him. Kiss him. Have my dirty little way with him… I have to control myself…

I bit off the end of the chocolate after I unwrapped it. It snapped making a noise I like. I did it again making the noise louder. I have no idea why I get so much satisfaction out of hearing that noise, but it's sort of calming.

Matt walked over to me and took a bite out of it. "I don't see why you like this stuff so much." Matt shrugged licking his lips.

I pushed him back, "Hey get your own chocolate!" I yelled angrily at him.

"My house," Matt teased. He stole the chocolate, unwrapped the entire bar, and bit the end I hadn't started eating. He smirked at me bobbing the chocolate up and down in his mouth.

My emotions seriously get ahead of me. I hate that about myself. I smirked back at Matt biting the opposite side of the chocolate bar. He blushed staring at me in disbelief as I started nibbling on the chocolate. My face fell too when I realized what I was doing. I stopped chewing on the chocolate bar with our faces inches apart.

We stayed like that. My body was pressed against his and the chocolate connected our mouths. I stared into his endless, evanescent eyes. They were so green. I could get lost on those eyes. I think Matt was feeling the same way since his arms found their way to my back. He ran his hands along my leather vest and soon rested them on my hips stroking the exposed skin above them. I placed my own hands on his chest almost rubbing it. That's where Matt surprised me. He started nibbling at the chocolate. I knew what was at the end. Me.

Damn my teenage hormones! This feels so good. This is Matt, though. My best and only friend. I don't want to hurt him or be hurt… This is too much! Matt's almost out of space to eat and my heart is pounding. I need to do something. I need to stop this before—

"Mail, I'm ho—" A woman with straight , shoulder length hair that was dark brown but looked almost as red as Matt's, walked into the kitchen.

Matt smiled at her letting go of me and the chocolate that's now dangling stupidly from my mouth. "Hi mom."

**TBC**

**He he... That would suck so bad XD**

**so... Matt's mom... **

**Poor Matt and Mello... They were just about to kiss and Matt's mom had to ruin it XD**

**Songs used:**

**Le Disko by Shiny Toy Guns**

**I hope you like ty 4 the reviews I guess some of you guys don't have school either ;)**


	6. 6 Sanctuary

6 Sanctuary

**(Translations end of chapter)**

Fuck. Shit. Damn. That's what's going through my mind right now. This woman is Matt's mom… I'm fucking dead…

"Qu'est-ce qui se passe ici, Mail?" She asked with flashing blue eyes.

"Rien," Matt said going over to the woman and kissing her on both cheeks.

"Je n'ai pas dit que vous pourriez avoir une fille ce week-end," She said sternly in a language I didn't understand. Right, Matt is originally from France…

"Ce n'est pas une fille, mama. C'est Mello que est mon ami."

"…" She looked at me giving me a quick once over. "Il est mignon," She bit her lip then put up a dazzling smile. She was really young and beautiful. She didn't look like she could be Matt's mother, maybe a sister or an aunt. She came over to me and kissed both my cheeks, "I'm very pleased to meet you. Mail talks about all the time." Whoa I can understand her!

Matt nodded thoughtfully. "This is my mom," He said motioning to the woman who was now digging through the refrigerator. She smiled pulling out some more vegetables. "Go to your room and play, Mail. I'll make dinner tonight."

Matt nodded then motioned for me to follow him as we stepped out of the kitchen.

His mom called in a stern voice, "And I don't want any funny business between you two, Mail Jeevas!" She shouted that as we left.

"Uh Mail?" I asked dumbfounded when we got to his room.

Matt rubbed the back of his head, "Yeah, my real name's Mail Jeevas."

"Where'd you come up with Matt?"

"Mail _Matthew_ Jeevas," He smiled.

"Oh," I nodded, "Same here. Mihael Keehl." I'm not up for giving out my name, but I can trust Matt… right? Anyway he has a fake name too so I guess it's cool.

"Where'd you come up with Mello?"

I growled, "Linda," under my breath. That bitch made a comment on how I needed to act 'more mellow' and the name stuck. Fuck that shit.

Getting back to the present. WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT? Matt and I—that was like indirect kissing… and Matt went along with it. What the hell am I supposed to do? I mean we didn't really say anything, but we might have… OHMIGOD! He's your best friend for Christ's sake!

Matt sat in front of his television and plugged in his Playstation2. "Hmm… What game do I have in here anyway?" Matt started up the game and found Kingdom Hearts II appeared on the title screen. "You wanna play?"

"…Umm… no thanks…" I muttered confused. He's seriously going to start playing his video game and forget about everything that just happened?

"Mind if I do?"

"No." Yes. I sat on his bed watching him play his game. What the hell type of a person is he? I'm sure he doesn't do that with his regular friends, right? So am I supposed to just forget about everything that just happened?

I sighed leaning against his wall. It's kind of weird that Matt's mom didn't say anything about me… Well she probably did, but I don't know French! I don't know I guess I should forget about everything that happened. I mean, it's not like we did anything. Matt's my best friend!

"Hey Matt?" I spoke up over his game.

"Yeah," He said. He sounds like he's really gonna listen to me. Damn video games…

"What'd your mom say earlier? Ya know in French?"

"Oh… just about how I wasn't allowed to have girls over… so I explained you were a guy." A. fucking. girl. Damn Bitch… Do I look like a fucking girl?

Well… that's not a very good question…

"Umm… Matt…" I whispered it so I guess he didn't hear me. Man, he looks hot right now. Matt… It's weird how he's obsessed with video games, but I think he thinks the same about me and chocolate. I wonder what he's thinking about right now.

My thoughts were shattered when I heard Matt start singing, "_In you and I there's a new land,  
Angels in flight  
Wonk uoy naht noitceffa erom deen I  
my sanctuary, my sanctuary, now  
Where fears and lies melt away  
Music will tie,  
Wonk uoy naht noitceffa erom deen I  
What's left of me  
What's left of me now…"_

He's not singing that is he? The Kingdom Hearts theme song? Why me? Why do I attract all the freaks? I'm so bored! I never could get into this game. It just seemed weird because of all the Disney characters. Disney pretty much ruined Naruto for me because of all the stupid editing and shit. If you can't play everything don't fucking play it! Screw fucking Disney. Great now I'm reduced to talking to myself. Damn it Matt! Why'd you have to play Kingdom Hearts? I fuckin' kill your ass at like Call of Duty or something… GAH! NOW I SOUND LIKE A GAMER NERD!

I stared at the television screen curiously. Wait… Is this what Matt does in his free time? If this is what I'll have to deal with then maybe I should just play a decent game. "Hey Matt, you got any good games?"

Matt didn't even blink. He'd pulled his goggles back on when I wasn't looking. "Yeah playin' one right now…"

I sighed and then thought of something I knew no great gamer could resist. A challenge. "I bet I can beat you."

Matt's ears perked up as he turned to look at me. His eyes sparkled at the thought of a challenge. "I didn't know you played video games…" He smiled brightly and licked his lips.

"I don't play them religiously, like you, but I play video games. Of course, I want something a little more advanced than Kingdom Hearts." I slinked down off the bed and crawled over to him.

Matt gulped when he saw me crawling towards him. Matt saved his game and got out a few more consoles and handed me a controller. He seemed to be fumbling around nervously. He started up The Legend of Zelda. Wow this game was classic. Almost as classic as Mario Brothers, but I loved Legend of Zelda. Sure I wasn't one who would play video games every hour of the day, but I played them sometimes to kill time.

"Do you want to start a new game or play from a saved game?" Matt asked as we got to a title screen.

"Just play one that you already started. I don't wanna have you re-playing the whole game because of me." Wait, I guess those rules don't apply when you jump into multiplayer mode… Oh well. Matt started going through his saved files. I saw the box with "Mello" printed over it. "What's that?"

Matt's entire face screamed out a red color. "Uh… well when I went to save one of my games I couldn't think of what to save it as and then I saw Link and thought he kind of looked like you."

I rolled my eyes and nudged his shoulder, "Well at least I didn't remind you of Zelda…"

Matt chuckled nervously, "Yeah right."

Okay so I remind him of an elf. Why am I not surprise. It's sad. Matt's so obvious I bet he doesn't even notice how he acts. However, he is so adorable like some abandoned puppy or something… This is getting to be too much. I can't be falling in love with MATT. Mello doesn't fall in love. Mihael Keehl doesn't fall in love period.

"You suck," Matt muttered. Yeah I do. Hard. Whoa wait did we start playing? When did we?

"Mail!" Matt's mom called from down stairs.

"Coming!" Matt yelled in response. He paused the game and stood up, "Dinner's ready."

I stood up and followed Matt down stairs. There was another person there. He wore glasses and had dark brown hair and green eyes. Matt's dad…

"So you're allowing Mail to have girls spend the night over at our house now?" He leaned over and asked his wife.

Don't get mad. Don't get mad. Don't get mad. I'm beginning to see a trend from Matt's relatives. I should go up to him and say, "I'm not a girl, but I DO prefer guys," but I won't.

"Dad this is Mello," Matt said ignoring his comment.

His dad blushed slightly, "Oh Mello…Hello, I'm Mail's father."

I smiled and bowed slightly, "It's nice to meet you."

We started talking and had a whole twenty questions thing before we actually sat at the table. Then more questions. Things like "How do you like Mail?" "Is he getting along with everyone?" "Does he pay attention in class?" It was stupid, but it did pass the time. They were concerned parents after all. Unlike mine.

My phone rang unexpectedly as we started eating dinner. "Excuse me," I said as I answered my phone. "Hello?"

"Hey Mello!" It was Rod. His words were slurred together as he spoke. He was either drunk or wasted.

"What are you calling me for?" I almost yelled, but remained calm and stern.

"I got a job for you. I had one of the guys bail on me so it now passes to you." He chuckled slightly. Yep definitely wasted.

"Rod, this is the one weekend I ask to have off."

"But Mello, this is important."

I stood up and walked out of the room. "I'll be right back," I said to them as I entered the hallway. I took a deep breath, "WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU CALLING ME FOR? DON'T YOU FUCKING KNOW I'M AT A FUCKING FRIENDS HOUSE? I ONLY FUCKING ASK YOU TO LET ME OFF FREE FOR ONE FUCKING NIGHT AND THEN YOU FUCKING CALL ME? GET A FUCKING LIFE YOU FUCKING HIGH BASTARD AND LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE!"

"…" Either I'm dead or lucky, "Whoa, sorry. I didn't know you had plans. I'll let you have this weekend, but you owe me double the next." Then he hung up. Thanks Rod. I'm a lucky bastard…

I walked back into the room and Matt and his family were all staring at me curiously. I guess I yelled pretty loud and they heard me. Smooth Mello really smooth…

**TBC**

**Translations Below:**

_Mom: What's going on here, Mail?_

_Matt: Nothing_

_Mom: I did not say you could have a girl over this weekend._

_Matt: It's not a girl, Mom. This is Mello who is my friend._

_Mom: He is cute…"_

**So what's up? Man ty 4 the reviews. I don't really manage how much I write. I should try and write more...**

**hmmm... is that a new years resolution?**

**NAH! screw new years resolutions :3**

**but poor Mello XD I had to add in the Disney stuff. My own opinion? I really hate disneys editting. but I like some of the movies. I love Kingdom Hearts! hehe I'm a cronic gamer... I'm a 24 hour gamer but when I finish 1 and have done every thing I kind of obandon them. poor video games...**

**But anyway...**

**Song used?**

**Sanctuary by Utada Hikaru**

**or u can just say the opening for Kingdom Hearts 2 and 358/2 days**

**I hope you enjoyed ty 4 reading! and favoriting :3 and alerting :3**

**Y the long AU? well I woke up 2day feeling like Light Yagami... so I'm a little arrogant 2day...**


	7. 7 Emo Kid

7 Emo Kid

After dinner Matt and I headed back to his room. Dinner was awkward. Not because it was Matt's family. I am a smooth talker and can influence anybodies parents. It's just Matt's parents heard me talking to Rod… It's hard to convince people when you just cussed your boss out over the phone.

"Hey Mello, you wanna do something fun?" Matt asked me quietly as we entered his room. I don't know why but the edge in Matt's voice excited me.

"Umm… Okay…"Okay I may not have been somewhat excited, but so far Matt's idea of fun has been playing video games non-stop, so I'm not exactly enthralled by his question.

He pulled out his cell phone and mashed a few buttons. Lastly, while the ringing continued Matt put his phone on speaker so that I could hear the entire conversation.

A woman answered, "Hello this is Wal-Mart customer service speaking how may I help you?" What the hell? What was this? I looked over at Matt giving him my famous 'What the fuck' look.

Matt cleared his throat, "Um, yes I was calling because I'd like to see how many children you've had in your toy section." Man his voice was deep too… wait why do I care if his voice is deep or not? Why the fuck is he asking about children at a Wal-Mart customer's service desk?

Apparently she felt the same way, "Uh, children, sir?"

"Yes." I still don't see what he's getting at.

"Well, millions of children pass by every day," She didn't sound very convincing either.

"Is that by your desk or in the toy section?"

"The toy section."

"And so you're saying you watch little children in the toy section?"

"Uh… I guess…"

"And have you done anything to these children?"

"W-what do you mean?"

"I must be frank about this. I'm a police officer at the NPA. There have been a series of murders in the area. All were children and all were under the age of ten."

"O-oh really? I wasn't aware…"

"I'm sure you weren't. I think I've gotten all the information I need. I'll be there in ten minutes to take you into custody."

"Wha—Wait—" And then Matt hung up and started laughing. He laughed so hard that his eyes started tearing up.

"Umm… Okay…" I muttered. I was seriously confused. What the hell was going here?

"You've never prank called someone?" Matt asked still fighting back laughter.

I shook my head. "Why are you laughing so much?"

Matt sighed and wrapped one arm around my shoulders, "Think about it." He picked up his free arm- right arm- and started waving it around like he was trying to paint a picture or something. "Think of what must be going through that poor woman's head right now. I mean how would you react if you were called by a cop and they said they were going to arrest you?"

Oh if he only knew… But then I did think about what that woman was doing at this very moment. I could just see some helpless, frail woman curled up in a ball in a corner muttering, "I'm innocent…" Before I knew it we were sprawled out on the floor laughing our asses off.

"…We're… terrible aren't we?" I asked between breaths.

"…Nah, I've done a lot worse."

We paused for a moment to look at each other then started laughing again. I can't remember the last time I laughed this hard. We both fell on our backs from laughing so hard. My head fell on Matt's chest. It was hard to ignore how warm it was.

Matt smiled at me, "It's your turn now." He blushed softly. Aware of my hand that was resting on his stomach.

"Wha?"

"It's your turn to call someone."

I thought for a moment. Who was I gonna call? Who did I hate so much that I—OH! I took out my cell phone. I had the perfect call in my head. "You'll back me up won't you?"

Matt looked confused, "Yeah… Who are you calling?"

I dialed the number and put my index finger to my lips. A few moments later I heard the familiar albino's monotone voice answer the phone, "Hello?"

I breathed a shaky breath, "N-Near?"

"Mello?" He replied to make sure it was me.

"N-N-Near I need h-help," I muttered in the most terrified and innocent voice I could muster.

"What is it?" He had a twinge of concern.

"I-I don't know where I am… These g-guys took me into their c-car and I-I'm scared."

"…How are you talking on the phone?"

Damn I hadn't thought of that. "I-I stole one of their phones when they were taking off my clothes."

"…" There was a long pause before Near shouted, "Gevanni!" Then he hung up the phone. Yes Near. Come rescue me. I couldn't help but start laughing. I laughed even harder than when Matt called Wal-Mart. "...What's wrong Matt?"

Matt paused, "You can't trace your phone?"

I got cold and still. "Oh shit…"

"What are you gonna do?"

Very good question Matt. I thought for about two seconds. I have an idea that just might work. I stood up and opened Matt's window. Luckily Matt's room was facing the street. I threw my cell phone across the street and it hit the house next door. And luckily after that it broke it half. Today is my lucky day.

Matt frowned, "I don't think you understand the whole concept of 'tracking your cell phone'."

I bit my lip and started thinking of what to do next. "C'mon I said pulling him up." I pulled him out of his room and down to his front yard. I picked up my helmet and threw it at Matt. He almost dropped it, but he caught it nonetheless. "Hope on."

"Oh, no way am I—"

"C'mon Mattie," Whoa did I just call him Mattie? It's official I'm obsessed.

Matt paused for a moment. I could tell he was uneasy—probably because I just called him Mattie—I threw one leg over my motorcycle. "Just get on!" I yelled holding out my hand.

Matt chewed on his bottom lip then nodded, "Okay… but I'm not wearing _this_," He threw my helmet at me. I caught it and pulled it over my head. Hey I'm not getting my hair messed up from some stupid wind blowing it around. Matt walked over to me and got on my motorcycle and instinctively wrapped his arms around my waist. Well I guess it was instinctively. I mean he is holding on to me pretty tightly and his chest is brushing against my ba—Shut up Mihael Keehl! He's probably nervous. This is probably his first time on a motorcycle! Shut out all those thought and just leave him… Ah, yeah and I'm hard now. Damn it! My pant's feel so tight! Damn damn damn damn!

"Are you gonna actually start it up, Mello?"

Wow I feel stupid. I started my cycle and started revving her up. I love that sound! I drove down the street. Now all that's left is to decide where we should go. I need something. I don't really want Matt to see me like this, but tonight's been rough. I don't really have to let him see anything. If I can only remember where this place is. I know Rod showed me where it was. Oh yeah! I remember!

Matt's POV

What's going on? Mello just drove up to some really disgusting building. "Wait for me. I'll only be a few minutes." Mello walked into some dark alley.

The entire building itself was massive. It was burned slightly at the top. All the windows were broken and had thick brown rags covering them. There was a door at the front of the building (or right in front of me) was broken and folded into the building.

I feel like such an emo kid. I have no idea why. Maybe I should have followed him. I wonder what he's doing… Shouldn't he be back by now? No, that would be me being pushy. He told me to wait for him… but it's been five minutes…

I slowly got off Mello's motorcycle. I really shouldn't be doing this… I walked in the same direction Mello took off in. First thing that hits me is a big cloud of smoke. Of course I cough because I'm not expecting it. There were like three guys smoking in the alley that Mello just went into… And of course Mello wasn't there.

So like any naïve, dumbass, love sick puppy, I walked to the back of the alley. Some old lady with dirty brown hair stopped me. She actually kinda pinned me against the wall and started feeling me up. What the hell kind of place is this? "You're seriously hot for a guy," She smiled licking my ear. "I'm not that expensive if—"

"Please get off me," I said sternly. I wasn't gonna punch a chick it's against my morals. Thankfully she backed off. After dusting myself off a turned to her, "You wouldn't happen to have seen a sexy blonde pass this way?" How else was I supposed to describe Mello? I mean I _am _bi… so it's alright, right?

"Who Mihael? You hang with him?" She gave me a sideways glance. "He's bad news. You shouldn't hang out with him."

"Can you tell me where he went?"

"I can," She smiled, "If you'll have a smoke with me."

I chewed my bottom lip. "…Fine," I muttered sitting next to her along the brick wall. She pulled out a cigarette and hand me one as she took another one for herself. She lit the end of both of ours and I inhaled my first puff of smoke.

This was my first time ever smoking. It's not like I go up to random people. I coughed when the heat filled my lungs. She laughed, "Is this your first?" I scowled and continued inhaling the smoke and watching the ashes fall from the end of the cigarette. I actually got used to it. The sensation makes me feel… alive.

I'm feeling… I don't know, really. The whole sensation feels kind of comforting. I looked and saw there was only a stump left on my cigarette. I smiled and looked up at the woman, "Can I have another?"

Mello's POV

I walked all the way to the back of the alley. Then made a left and entered the building. It was old and broken, but I could get around there.

"Hey Mello, whazzup?" Some guy called out to me. It was so dark I could barely see him.

"Yo, Ricky!" I jumped up high fiving him.

"You been good? I haven't seen you around lately."

"Yeah, lot's been going on," I fucking hate this bastard. He used to work with Rod, but Rod had him transferred… I thought he'd been dead. Rod usually doesn't let anyone just leave our little "family".

"You need me to hook you up?" He smiled opening up a trench coat that I just realized he was wearing. Stupid dim lighting.

At least now I think I know why Rod wanted to keep him alive. He had connections to another dealer. His coat was organized with all kinds of—Like I'd tell you what his coat was filled with! Sorry, I don't feel like giving out information that can send me to jail.

Anyway… to make a long story short I stocked up. On what? Well… I got some more coke… and some heroine. That's it. What you don't believe me? Well screw you too, bastard.

At least I get to leave this place in one piece… what the fuck?

"Matt?"

"Hey Mells," Matt said with droopy eyes. "When'd you get here?" He smelled like cigarettes. He was sitting with that fucking bitch prostitute—I know that didn't make sense, but I'm pissed right now!—Her name was either Shelia or Stella. No one ever talks to her unless they were seriously desperate.

"See Mattie," She said inhaling her cigarette. "I told you he'd be back."

That bitch… I walked up to Shelia/Stella and kicked her stomach. I think she coughed up a little bit of blood, but I didn't care. "Nobody calls him Mattie but ME." I said in ear.

"Oh so you do have feelings for him," She smiled.

I snapped and started punching and kicking her. I really didn't care that she was a girl. I didn't care that I kept hearing her screams or that Matt was watching. But then two arms wrapped around me. Great so this whore has back up all of a sudden? I turned around landing a punch in whoever it was' face.

"Ow! Fuck Mells," Matt muttered rubbing his chin. I jumped when I heard Matt.

Oh Damn it! "Matt, are you okay?" I asked gripping his chin to see his face.

"Yeah," Matt said rubbing his cheek.

"Damn it Matt! Why'd you do that?"

"…You were… hurting her."

I looked over at the woman who was now curled up in a ball sobbing and coughing. "Whatever… Let's go."

"But—"

I pulled Matt by his wrists back onto my motorcycle and we were off. We drove to the park before we were able to speak to each other again. Although Matt did shout a few choice words like "…Fucking… she… help… why… Mello" but you really can't hear anything on motorcycles.

"Mello she could be hurt!" Matt yelled.

"Like I care," I muttered. Why'd I even pick the park? I guess it's the only real place we can hang out. At least right now.

Matt was sitting on one of the benches. He was slumped over looking utterly depressed.

"Look Matt, I'm sorry. That chick's bad business. You'd get in so much trouble if you hooked up with her."

"I wasn't trying to hook up with her. I was trying to find you."

"Yeah it sure looked like it," I muttered angrily. Damn it! Why am I such a bastard?

"…I didn't mean… It wasn't like," Matt stammered. "She told me that if I smoked with her she'd help me find you. I didn't mean to get caught up in—"

"No I'm sorry," I interrupted. "I shouldn't have even gone there."

"…Why did you go there, Mello?" Matt looked up at me with innocent eyes.

"N-no reason. I just want wanted to see an old friend of mine." I lied.

"You didn't stay very long."

"Well of course not! I've got you to worry about, don't I?" I put up a playful smile.

Matt smiled sadly. Man he looks adorable. I feel terrible making him feel so bad like this. I sat next to him on the bench. "So, what do you want to do Mattie?"

Matt shrugged. I could tell he was thinking about me. It's like that's illogical. I'm not exactly the most trustworthy person. It was kind of funny how we had pet names for each other. Nicknames for nicknames. Mihael Keehl. Mail Jeevas. Mello. Matt. Mells. Mattie.

Matt laid down on the bench and laid his head in my lap. I seriously hate those goggles. Not that he doesn't look good in them. They just make it harder to see his eyes, his emotions. Even though his eyes are closed I'd much rather see that part of him then this thick plastic shield. I involuntarily started stroking his hair with my thumb.

"Hey Matt, why do you always where those goggles?" I asked not thinking.

Matt opened his eyes giving me a nervous look. "They… were the last thing I was wearing when I saw my parents…"

I arched one of my eyebrows, "We just saw your parents. Are you seriously that clingy to them?"

Matt flinched and shook his head. "My… my real parents died when I was seven."

"What?" No. No. No. Please tell me he didn't just say that.

"Well… We went to the beach for vacation. It was my very first trip. It was really fun. We played outside all day." Matt paused and smiled sadly like he was remembering everything that had happened that day. "When it was time to go back to the hotel I wouldn't go. I'd had too much fun. I didn't want the day to end. So Mom and Dad carried me back with them…

"But I ran off that night. I wanted to build a giant sand castle and get a fresh start on it. I wonder what must have been going through my parent's mind when they realized I was gone." I could see small tears prickling inside his eyes through the orange lenses. "Then some man dragged me away from the beach telling me that my parents had been killed in a mugging. He was really blunt about it too. They'd been out looking for me and then some guy came up to them and shot them when they wouldn't give him their money."

I still couldn't believe it. I didn't know what to say. Matt. How was he able to keep living after that? He seems so strong and optimistic. Unlike me, a lying coward. "You've had a hard life then…"

"…It hasn't been that bad. I mean it could've been a lot worse." God he's so perfect. He's too innocent and naïve. That's why I can't try anything with Matt. He doesn't need to be mixed up with someone like me. That's depressing.

**TBC**

**I no I'm super late. but school and drama... Chaos... but I hope you enjoyed. I'll try to b fast with the next chapter...**


	8. 8 Girlfriend

8 Girlfriend

It makes me wonder… What if I was like Matt? Not goggles and stripes. I mean, what if I was all happy and optimistic like he is? Would my luck change? Maybe…

Well, I don't really know what to do. It's almost midnight and I'm sitting on a park bench with a sexy red head asleep on my lap. Was that a way to describe Matt? Sexy red head…? Fuck yeah! Then again… he is my friend, so maybe… fuck no?

Gah! I don't have time for this. What am I going to do? Wait… what do I have to do anyway? It's not like I have a life or anything… That just boosted my self esteem up ten percent. Thanks self…

…See no reply. I'm loved.

But seriously, why am I in such a hurry? I should be savoring this once in a lifetime moment. Matt curled up, his head resting in my lap while. He breathed out soft steady breathes that just made me feel chills run down my spine.

"…Mmmm… Mello…" Matt muttered cuddling close to me, "…you… smell like chocolate." Awww… That's so cute! Wait… he's asleep, right? So wait does that mean Matt's dreaming about me? Uhh… No that couldn't happen. I-I mean it's Matt. Still… That's so cute that Matt's talking in his sleep! I mean he's adorable anyway but it's different because he's asleep and rubbing against me and breathing in—I should shut up before I sound like a stalker.

Yeah… I think I'm past stalker status… oh well… anyone can say what they want about me… I'm with my best friend… I stroked his hair gently and smiled.

MATT'S POV

_MelloMelloMelloMelloMello…._

My eyes shot open to stare at the blonde angel…. Ah that sounded lame. Mello's not an angel he's my friend… Is it bad to call your friend an angel? I mean if you think about it Mello doesn't really act like an angel. Hmmm… He does look like Zelda kinda… Maybe I should call him my little elf? I'm getting off this subject—and dude what did I even dream about?

Mello….

It's official. I'm fucked… If I'm actually dreaming about him…

Wait where am I? I sat up and slipped, only to have my face connect with the ground…. OW! "That fucking hurt!"

"Matt!" Mello looked over to me. "You okay?"

I looked up and was staring directly into those sapphire eyes. Mello's got the prettiest eyes. They're always so cold but soft and kind of crazy, but they're really—stop spacing out you idiot!

"Yeah I'm fine. I just implanted my face into the ground nothing too serious." That actually wasn't sarcasm. Weird…

Mello chuckled, "Well when you put it that way…" Mello pulled me to my feet. "You fell asleep."

"I noticed. What time is it?"

"Almost eight in the morning." He said looking at a cell phone. Whose cell phone was that? Didn't he break his at my house?

"Shit! My parents are gonna kill me!" They seriously would. The last time I spent an all-nighter was my first week with them in Dijon. Worst mistake of my life. Now I am going to be sent to dwell in Zanarkand for all eternity until I myself disappear…

"Don't worry. I stole your cell phone from your pocket and called them and told them we were at my house."

That makes sense on where he got the cell phone from… He handed me my cell phone. Thank Zelda I know Mello! How many time's has he saved my ass? And we haven't even known each other that long! Wow I'm weak…. "Thanks…"

"No problem," He smiled, "so what do you wanna do?"

I shrugged, "We can go to your house."

Mello laughed, "You really wanna go somewhere that lame?"

Why do I get the feeling that he's nervous? Nah! I must be delirious. There's no way Mello would be nervous about anything! But still… It seems odd that he doesn't what to go home… I think you're digging a little too deep Matt. He probably just wants some time away from home.

"Well what do you want to?"

He tilted his head to the side for a moment, "You wanna get some chocolate?"

Why am I not surprised?... "Uh… I guess that would be fine…" Are most Germans this obsessed about chocolate?

"Whoot!" Mello ran to his motor cycle, "C'mon Mattie!"

I sighed and hoped onto his bike after him. I think I'm getting used to this. Riding with Mello… holding onto him like this. It's kind of funny how warm I am right now. I mean since the wind u feel whipping around u. I wish I could do this more often. I wonder how he would react if I just casually slipped my hands lower. We'd probably get into a wreck, but knowing Mello, it wouldn't surprise me if he could drive his motorcycle and cum at the same ti—fuck! I'm thinking about him again. Just shut up Matt! You should just forget about….. Mello… c-cumming… I need to get rid of this blush before Mello sees me….

Hey we're at the gas station! When did this happen? Never mind that… a gas station! Whoot! Do you know what's so awesome about a gas station? Well that's simple… Gas stations have cheep crap that teens can afford! I ran into the station and ran straight for the Monsters. I grabbed a BFC in green. Yum! It's a crime to drink this much caffeine and live, but I don't really care! MONSTER! I bought it and immediately slurped the sweet liquid. What could be better than this?

I can guess 'cause my eyes just passed it.

Cigarettes.

I was already addicted to them after just a few? I know they're bad but… I don't know. There's something about that feeling of heat that enters your system… It's so weird, but… it feels good… comforting… warm…

So… like the idiot I am, I tried to buy some.

"Hello miss," I said. Yes the cashier was a girl. About my age. I could so pull this off. I looked at her almost flirtatiously. She blushed slightly at me and brushed a part of her black hair behind her ears. I can't really be trying to sex my way to get some cigs can I? "Um… I was wondering if you could get me some cigarettes."

She blinked a bit, "How old are you?"

"Oh, I'm twenty," Okay that's far from the truth… but the age restrictions here are twenty and I need some cigarettes! …Wow I'm almost as obsessed as Mello when it comes to cigarettes … not good…

She arched one of her eyebrows, "Really? Do you have any identification to prove that?"

I fake searching in my pocket, "Ah Damn! I must have left it at home!" I shrugged, "Oh well… guess it wasn't meant for me to get cigarettes today." I frowned, turned and started walking away. I gave her one of my puppy dog looks from behind my goggles then started walking out of the room.

"W-wait!"

Playing the nice guy always works.

"Huh? What is it?" I turned to her looking surprised.

"Uh… here!" She pushed some cigarettes to me, "If you were lying you would have tried to trick me into getting you some, but you didn't so… here!" She put a box of cigarettes on the counter. I paid for them and left the shop. However, there is a sad ending to this story. For, you see, I do not have a lighter. I'm gonna go sulk now.

"You dirty rotten liar," Mello chuckled behind me.

I jumped and turned to see his smirking face."What? Hey Mello! Did you see that crazy teenager try to rip off the store clerk for some cigarettes?" I smiled, blushing hard.

He crossed to me, putting his arm around my shoulder. "Yeah I did. Let me see. He was about my height, really skinny, wearing all stripes and orange goggles."

I could already feel myself blushing, "I-I guess the police will have it easy finding him."

Mello laughed, "Yeah… but it seems like he was missing something though." He unzipped his vest pocket and pulled out a red lighter, "Need a light?"

Where would I be without him right now? I know: I'd be looking pretty stupid because I just—illegally—bought a pack of cigarettes without having a lighter. "Thanks," I muttered as I inhaled the warm smoke when he lit the end of my cigarette.

Mello sighed and showed me a brown, paper bag filled with chocolate. "I'm all stocked up."

"That's great," I muttered finishing off my cigarette sooner than I thought I would. "Hey can we go to Game Stop?"

"What for?"

"Just to browse it's not like we're gonna do anything exciting."

Mello stuck out his tongue playfully, but ran over to his motorcycle and pulled on his helmet. "You comin' Mr. Illegal Smoker?"

I threw my cigarette and ran towards him, "Of course!"

I started getting on the motorcycle and Mello laughed, "I can't believe I just helped you smoke one of those god-awful cancer sticks!" I could only laugh and hold him close as we raced off.

We got to Game Stop and like every gamer knows it was like Heaven. Video games everywhere, people talking about video games and the smell… It just feels… special. Like you have everything you need in life is right here. God I love this store.

I start running around the place, and of course I found games! This is Japan people! One of the most amazing gaming countries on the face of this planet! WHOOT! GAMING! I wish I was born into a video game. It would make life so much easier. Leveling up and customizing the way u look and getting to die and start over like it was nothing….

Okay… so to make an incredibly long, epic story short I went to the cash register to pay for a few games. Well you can't expect to have everything good happen to you. I could always try and trick the cashier into giving me free games (hehe). I doubt that would work though because every gamer knows that every gamer is not stupid. Sure there are those odd ones on certain occasions, but most of them were geniuses with killer hand-eye coordination and awesome at thinking strategically.

I saw the familiar preppy girl smiling at the cash register. "Matt, how are you doing?" Linda said bouncing in excitement.

"Oh, Linda you work here?" Damn it. How can such a wonderful place let in someone who's…not gamey… I know that sounds lame but I really can't see Linda plopping down on her couch and mashing in buttons trying to defeat all the levels of a super bad ass grinding. But who am I to judge?

She nodded smiling at me brightly. "I saw that Mello was at your house. You guys do anything?" A smirk now replaced her smile as she leaned forward.

I arched one of my eyebrows, "What are you talking about?" she's implying something…. But … what?

Linda got a bright look on her face and she ran from behind the counter over to me. "Oh so you and Mello aren't going out?"

What the fuck? "What gave you that idea?" I mean not that I'm objecting. I mean it's Mello. I doubt anyone could turn him down, myself included. It wasn't just because I lusted after him (yes I admit it). Mello was a great, sweet, loving, mysterious, gorgeous, amazing—Okay I think you get the idea…

"Oh it was just something I heard in school… Hey Matt," she inched closer to me standing on her tip-toes. "Umm… well I was just wondering…since you're not dating Mello… can I… be your girlfriend?"

What? Did I hear her correctly? She did say "girlfriend" right? I mean I barely know her so… but it's not like I can reject her so easily… I mean, I can go on one date or something and then see what happens… but I really don't like girls like her. I mean she seems annoying, loud, and clingy. Okay I'm clingy but I mean the type of clingy where girls drape themselves over you and always have to be with you and hug and kiss you all the time… I'm the type of guy that follows you around and will let you have your space, but I'll wait up for you and follow from a close distance behind you silently and watch you from afar.

Damn I sound like a creeper. Anyway the point is… I barely know her… Maybe it won't be so bad… I don't think it's wrong to get to know her… and she may turn out… different… but I doubt it… Oh well… I can always dump her if I don't like her, so… "Okay…"

**TBC**

**song used : Girlfriend**

**by: Avril lavene ((IDFK XDXDXDXD))**

**I want Matt to be slightly ADD ... and no this isnt turning into MattxLinda EWWWWWW! that's just gross... I just wanted to write about Mello when he's pissed off XD... and my Mello ordered me to update so i did! WHOOT! hope you enjoyed... R&R please...**


	9. 9 Fall For You

9 Fall for You

That bastard! That dirty, rotten, fucking bastard!

It's been a week since I talked to Matt. Why? Because he's going out with that annoying slut, Linda! I need to fucking blow off some fucking steam. I can't believe he just fucking went out with her! Like it was fucking nothing!

It's fucking Linda. LINDA!

Well, I guess I should tell you what's been happening. I had to go back to school. L and Light haven't been spending as much time together because Light's new posse showed up. First is the most annoying girl I've ever met! Misa Amane… She is like Light's stalker non-girlfriend. she's a fucking idiot! Why'd they even let a bitch like her go to school? Urgh! I'd like to shoot her! Second is Teru Mikami. He's like a even worse version of a stalker. He obviously likes Light, but he's one of those creeper types. It wouldn't surprise me if he called him in the middle of the night and watched him from a window or surveillance cameras or something! Last is Kyomi Takada. She's okay… at first. But after a while you find out that she's a total slut. End of story. So I guess Light and L are having some relationship problems as well… not that me and Matt were in a relationship…

Maybe I'm over reacting…? I shouldn't be so possessive but DAMN IT THAT FREAK IS MINE! Why did it piss me off so much? Why the fuck am I getting so worked up. And why the fuck am I JEALOUS of LINDA? That's like blasphemy!

I need to stop thinking about Matt…. It pisses me off thinking about him….

Anyway…. my phone's ringing—I got it back!- and I'm all pissed off 'cause of all the shitty drama that's been going down…

"Hey Mello," It was Rod's voice.

"Hey Rod, how are you?"

"Feeling pretty good since you're about to pay me back for last weekend."

Pay him back? No fucking thanks ass hole. I got shit to worry about. "Awww… c'mon man! Do I have to do that right now?"

"Yes and you have to bring a friend."

"C'mon Rod—"

"Meet me at that Shuro-something bar at eight." Then he hung up the phone.

That's just great. Who am I supposed to invite? A friend… L? He hates crowds. Near? I hate him. Matt? I really can't…

Oh, but I really did. I sent him a text asking him if he would come and of course he said yes… Great… Let me clear things over. When I heard no fucking SAW Matt accept her request I hauled ass out of Game Stop and left. I have no idea how Matt got home, but I really don't care. But when I got home I cried myself to sleep and my wrists had a good beating.

But I guess I'll have to endure it. Matt and I were going to Shuroigi's. It's a bar and grill that's owned by a friend of Rod's. Fine! If this is what's going down then I'm gonna give it my all. Watch out Mattie-boy…

So here I am. Dressed in my tightest, most revealing, black, leather outfit. It's regular tight black pants but the sides tie up with black laces, so there maybe a little bit of skin showing heh heh. Then I'm wearing regular heeled boots. My vest, like always is cut short above my naval but the top is REALLY low-cut, so a fair amount of my chest is showing. Yeah. I'm gonna torture Matt tonight. Or I'm gonna look gay in front of him….

When I picked him up, he was in his regular striped shirt and goggles. His jeans were darker than usual and _tighter._ Looks like I'm not the only one trying to impress someone. However; I couldn't stop and stare because we left as soon as I got to his house.

Oh fucking shit… Shurogi's has karaoke on Friday night… I hate you Rod.

"Hey Mello," Rod smiled from behind me. He was smiling because he knew I knew what he was going to make me do. Rod actually looked pretty impressive. His head was freshly shaved and he wore a black vest that fully exposed his broad chest and some baggy jeans. He had two girls, one for each arm, beside him and I knew they were whores. He smiled widely at me, "who's your friend?"

"Matt…." I grunted, pointing at Matt.

Rod scanned him from head to toe. He was probably scanning to see if he would be a good member of our gang. Not my Mattie… I'd never let anyone near his heart of gold… He was too good for a gang. I need to stop acting like he's mine…

"Mello c'mere for a second. Let your friend go inside while I explain something to u. Then the real assignment begins." He smirked slyly, always a bad sign.

Matt apprehensively left my side but I could feel his eyes on me from inside. It made me shiver. I think…. I'm just fooling myself… Matt wasn't looking at me… he doesn't love me. He has Linda for that…

Rod spoke, pulling me away from my thoughts, "Mello, you better get this job right."

"Do I ever get 'em wrong?" I may sound arrogant, but I was only being honest. Do I ever fuck up a job? No.

Rod sighed and nodded, slipping me an envelope that I hid in the pocket of my vest. I'd read it later. Now to get down to business, "Now, why'd I hafta bring Matt?" I sounded slightly possessive and uneasy. Why? Matt wasn't mine. Seems like I just can't give him up…

Rod snickered, "Humiliation…"

"Wh-wha-?"

"You know what type of bar this is Mello?"

My eyes widened in realization. "I'm not singing," I growled, crossing my arms.

"Aw, C'mon Mello. You owe me remember?" He gave me a toothy grin and pushed open the door to the bar.

I growled again, "I'm not singin'! I'll look like some fucking queer fag!" Dissing my own kind 'cause I'm scared of some homophobes… Sad…

Matt looked at us curiously before I sat beside him with a huff. Matt was eyeing me, trying to say something. I could hear him trying to choke out his sweet voice. I couldn't sing. That's something I do in private ONLY! I couldn't sing, especially not to Matt.

"What'll ya' do if I decline this singing shit?" I mumbled angrily.

"Oh you're singin'… even if we hafta tie u up and make u… Unless you'd rather be taken care of out back…" Rod smirked. He meant take me out and beat me up. I'd go for the second option, but with Matt being here, he'd probably tell them to beat him up instead of me. Heart of gold I tell ya'. I let my head fall onto the hard, wood table with a thud and sighed, "Fine…"

Rod smiled, "good cause you'll be singing a love song…"

"WHAT?" Why the fuck do I have to sing a fucking love song with a bunch of homophobes around? Then it hit me…. Humiliation. They wanted me to humiliate myself by singing some fucking lovey dovey bullshit. The irony is that I do lo… wait no… Mello doesn't "love" anyone. Humiliation my ass… this was worse.

"Mello…?" Matt whispered, looking cautious around Rod. "Mello, are you ok?"

"Fuck you," I growled between my teeth and jumped to my feet. I shouldn't have been so mean, but Matt was the last person I wanted to hear about.

"Do you want Matt to go up there with you to hold your hand?" Rod teased making fake whimpering noises.

I shot Matt a glare… "If you want to come, Mattie, you can come." My glare said _"keep your fucking ass in that chair or I'll kick it…" _Matt took a guess and stayed where he was. Smart boy.

I stood up on stage glaring. I kept the glare watching Rod snickering with some of the guys with him. I scanned them then focused my attention on him. He looked like he was about to cry… Now I feel like a jerk… I'm sorry Mattie…

The least I can do is give it my all… for Matt at least. He deserves it… I nodded feeling determined. For Matt….

I pressed the cold mic to my lips waiting for the song to play. The bold words flashed across the screen. **Fall For You by Secondhand Serenade**. I froze for a split second then took a deep breath and looked at the red head, who in turn stared at me. For this small moment he was mine… and I was gonna make him know that.

I opened my mouth and started the song, "_Best thing about tonight's that we're not fighting  
Could it be that we have been this way before  
I know you don't think that I am trying...  
I know you're wearing thin down to the core_

But hold your breath  
Because tonight will be the night that i will fall for you  
Over again  
Don't make me change my mind  
Or I won't live to see another day  
I swear its true  
Because a girl like you is impossible to find  
You're impossible to find."

I was slightly shocked at myself. I'd heard this song before, granted it'd been a while, but part of me felt this was… true… Then the other part was saying, this was one of the most embarrassing things I've ever done. I looked at Matt who was blushing softly but gave me a supportive smile. God, love him!_  
_

"_This is not what I intended  
I always swore to you I'd never fall apart  
You always thought that I was stronger  
I may have failed  
But I have loved you from the start."_

That's it, there's no way this is coincidence but… I … I can't do it… no… I mean… I should do it for Matt but… I just can't. I closed my eyes and felt my eyes stinging. No… not right now…. I can't cry. No… no no no no no no!

I took a deep breath trying to find where I was in the song and pressed the mic back to my lips and opened my mouth. Nothing. No words came out. I tried to sing the words again but couldn't. why couldn't I? I shook my head and sighed and mumbled, "Fuck this shit," and threw the mic, running out of the bar while Rod and his posse laughed. Matt was probably laughing too. Damn. Damn damn damn damn damn!_  
_

"Mello?" Matt called, following me out of the bar. I'm so stupid. Of course Matt wouldn't laugh at me… "Mello, your boss is calling u…" He noted a shout coming from the bar.

"Like I fucking give a damn! Leave me alone," I yelled at him, my voice shaking slightly.

"Mello, you're my ride home remember?"

I cursed under my breath. "Fine," I said walking down the street. "But holding that against me won't do you any good. Go back inside. I'm not going home right now…"

Matt arched one of his eyebrows still following me, "Mello what's—"

I cut him off, nearly shouting, "Are you saying something Mattie? I can't seem to hear you. You'll have to talk lou—" I was cut off by Matt. He ran up to me from behind, grabbed my wristsand pulled me into one of the alleys on the street.

I was pinned against the wall with Matt glaring at me. "What the hell's your problem?"

"Ma—"

"First you ditch me at Game Stop. Then you ignore me the entire week. You won't answer my phone calls or text messages. And tonight… tonight I thought you were finally coming around. 'Oh he wants to invite me out somewhere! That's great I thought he was mad…' So I go out of my way for you and you've been a fucking jerk to me the whole night! So tell me Mello; what the fuck did I do to you?"

I stared at him in shock then glared. "It's not like you would care," I muttered under my breath. "I mean… you can always call up your perfect, little girlfriend."

Matt's eyes widened, "Linda? That's what this seriously is about?"

"Maybe…" I muttered angrily.

"Fucking Hell, Dude, if you didn't want me to be her boyfriend you could have told me at any moment and I would've dumped her."

My eyes flickered at him, "Why would I think you'd dump some chick you just started dating for my happiness?"

Matt looked at me with 'DUH' written all over his face, "Because you did it for me…"

I froze. Oh right… I dumped Light when Matt asked me to… "Well I—I'm…"

Matt eyed me curiously, picking up on my sudden uneasiness."This is more than just me going out with Linda, isn't it?" Matt inched closer to me, "What is it, Mello?"

If only I could disappear through the wall. This wasn't looking good for me. I was pinned against the wall and Matt… well Matt's naïve. His lips are hovering over me just whispering the same question, "What is it Mello?"

Then I did something I kept promising myself I would never do… under any circumstances. I broke the one thing that would either save or break whatever relationship me and Matt could've possible had. I leaned forward and brushed our lips together.

**TBC**

**Song used: Fall For You**

**By: Secondhand Serenade**

**YAH! They kissed ^_^ ... this was a random chapter... im like... "I wanna do a karaoke scene!" so here it was... XD lame I know... but oh well Mello kissed Matt finally so YES! hope u enjoyed... R&R please!**


	10. 10 Fever

10 Fever

It wasn't like one of those cheesy romance movies where people look like attacking zombies, trying to eat each other's faces off. It was just a simple peck on the lips. It lasted for about two seconds before I pulled myself back slowly.

Matt just stared at me for a grand total of five minutes. He let go of my wrists finally and I walked to the end of the dark alley. "Uh… Sorry, Matt. I didn't know what I was doing. I'm not thinking clear—"

"D-don't apologize Mello," Matt cut me off, running his fingers along his lips. He walked closer to me. "You… I mean I can't believe you…"

"I kissed you…" I said it almost like I was ashamed. I couldn't look him in the eye.

Matt smiled, obviously in a daze."Yeah," Matt sighed the word. "I wasn't expecting you to… to actually…"

"Yeah… sorry."I frowned looking at my feet.

"Don't be," Matt shook his head.

He wasn't acting or sounding like he hated me. Nor did he sound like that was the most disgusting thing he'd ever had touch his lips. "Matt, I just kissed you! Don't act all nonchalant when a guy—when anyone kisses you!"

Matt blushed furiously, "R-right. Sorry… not used to having people kiss me. Not that I'm expecting people to kiss me. I-I just…" Matt rambled for a few minutes be for I cut him off by saying, "I got it. You're a fucking saint."

Matt's face was bright red. I could tell he was trying not to spazz out. Not that I minded. He was cute either way. He took a deep breath and smiled, "Th-thanks… for the k-kiss…"

He was so adorable, but I just couldn't believe him, "Mattie, you don't have to say anything to make me happy. Be honest…"

"I am!"

"See? Now you're just lying," I frowned.

"N-no I'm not! Why would I lie to you?" Matt looked slightly panicked then pulled the one line that made my heart melt, "You don't believe me, Mello?"

I instantly was at a loss for words. "Umm… I-I… u… we… uhhhh…" I gnawed furiously at my lip.

"Mello…" Matt's voice was calming and warm. "You have no idea how long I've wanted you to do that." Matt blushed, pressing his soft lips against mine.

I couldn't move. My mind blacked out but soon I kissed him back again and smiled. "So… you really don't mind?"

"Why would I?"

"Well… I'm your friend and… I'm gay on top of that!"

Matt shrugged, "So… I'm bi."

Wait. What? " No way! Really?"

"Did I not come across that way?" He gave me a sheepish look. "I've never had a strong relationship with a girl or a guy before, so I decided to be bi until I've met either the sex that I like or the right person. Pretty desperate, huh?"

I could feel the pink haze covering my cheeks. "I- I see…" I wrapped my arms slowly around Matt's neck, "so… it's okay?"

Matt nodded nervously. I pecked his lips again and smiled. His lips were soft and tasted like nicotine. Matt blushed and smiled at me. What did we do after that?

Well, we got on my motorcycle and sped off to his house. I wasn't about to go back and see Rod. Not after what just happened. When we got back to his house we started kissing again a lot more hungrily this time. I jumped off my cycle while Matt, in turn, jumped on me. He swiveled his legs around my waist and started covering me with butterfly kisses making me shiver. I awkwardly walked both of us up to the porch of his house as our tongues started to tangle with each others, exploring our mouths curiously. I struggled to find the door knob, but grabbed it eventually and let us inside without taking my lips off of the gamer's. I shut the door then slammed Matt against the wall next to me, kissing his neck.

"Careful…" Matt breathed. "My parents are still home."

I smirked at him, "Then you'll just have to be quiet Mattie." I chuckled slightly as I sunk down lower… and lower…

..Sadly…

This did not happen. C'mon! It's our first kiss! It's not gonna go from a kiss to a make-out session to a full blown sex scene! No. Heres what happened after I talked to Rod and made up an excuse about Matt not feeling well. I drove Matt home, dropped him off, gave him a quick kiss goodbye and left. No big fireworks or passionate romance. Just sweet, simple peacefulness. It was nice… calming… I wish it could've lasted longer….

* * *

Getting home sucked… no… I'm dramatizing things…. I crawled in through my window and immediately fell into bed like always but… tonight was different. I'm not trying to sound cliché, but Matt had changed the way I thought. I mean, I thought about him all the time, but now to actually HAVE him… I couldn't stop thinking about him and thinking about him and thinking about him until…

"Fuck!" I shouted feeling my pants constricting me. I gasped gripping the bulge that was suddenly making itself known through the front of my pants. "F- f- f-fuck!" I bit my lip, closing my eyes, feeling the fabric of my pants rub against my current problem. I bit my lip forcing myself to stand and looked out my door, nothing…. Which meant mom wasn't home… thank god! I shut my door, blushing furiously. The problem was growing…. and getting worse.

I shivered violently, closing my eyes seeing nothing but Matt. I fell onto my bed with my eyes still closed and buried my face in my pillow, closing my eyes and kissed my pillow gently. "I can't believe I'm doing this…" I kissed my pillow firmer and then kissed again and again before licking it slowly and kissing hungrily, Imagining the soft cushions as Matt's soft lips.

I moaned softly into the fabricated kiss, running a hand slowly up my shirt, giving me chills. "ah… Ma-Mat-tie…" I stumbled over his name and teased my hand along my skin before grabbing one of my nipples and giving it a small squeeze. I gasped, quickly unbuttoning my pants. Fuck teasing myself! I needed relief!

I kicked off my pants, quickly going to grab my unpampered erection. I stroked my cock gently imagining Matt's nimble fingers running down its length. "MATT!" I moaned his name, arching my back and started pumping my cock hard and fast, feeling the need for relief. "Ah! Mattie!" I forgot about the pillow and threw back my head, groaning Matt's name over and over. I twisted the tip of my cock very lightly between pumping, making me see white. "FUCK MATTIE!" I curled my toes and came into my hand.

I shivered, panting heavily and looked at my hand. "Fuck…" I mumbled, forcing myself to stand up so I could clean myself off. When I finished I crawled back into bed in a daze. "Wow…." I couldn't find the words just… felt… good? But wasn't orgasming supposed to feel good? No… wait… that wasn't it…. What was… I couldn't finish my thought because I fell asleep dreaming of nothing except my gamer.

**TBC**

**Songs used: Fever**

**By: Adam Lambert**

**I kinda didn't know what to write (hence the shortness!) so I asked advice from my Mello and was told to write a masturbation scene XD I hope I did well... thank you for reading... R&R please!**


End file.
